Self Checkout

“PLACE YOUR BANANAS ON THE BELT.”

“PLACE YOUR RED DELICIOUS APPLES ON THE BELT.”

“PLACE YOUR YOPLAIT PEACH YOGURT ON THE BELT.”

This is why I hate using the self checkouts at the grocery store. This morning I stopped by grocery store to pick up some snacks for today and tomorrow. There was no cashier at the regular checkout lane, so I had to use the self checkout.

I touched the computer screen, weighed my fruits, and scanned my yogurt. Every time, the computer voice announced loudly what I was purchasing. For an interesting twist, when I looked up after the yogurt announcement, I spotted one of my coworkers standing up at the customer service desk just twenty feet away. (This grocery store is across the street from our offices.) She looked over at me and we exchanged waves.

I was annoyed at the machine announcing so loudly each of my items, and I admit that the yogurt announcement made me blush a bit — it’s not exactly a manly-man snack food — but there are many things I’ve purchased over the years that I woulnd’t want broadcast to other grocery shoppers.

The old gag about the cashier calling over the store intercom for a price check on some embarrassing item is a classic because we’ve all either been there or feared it.

Note to Grocers: if you want people to use the self checkout, to save on your employee costs or speed up lines, make the self checkout registers —

“SHUT THE HELL UP.”

Bullgrit