Every parent knows the zombie-like feeling of a day with little to no sleep the night before. Maybe you were up every two hours over night to feed the baby. Maybe you spent all night in the Emergency Room with your sick child. Or maybe you’re just frazzled from keeping the kids entertained all day during summer vacation or school track out.
Heck, you don’t even have to be a parent to occasionally be worn slap out. Been studying for mid-term exams? Been working 12-hour shifts all week? Been out on a drunken bender over the weekend?
For all these times, own your mood. I wear this shirt far too often, (including last Friday, actually on Halloween):
In this age of the Internet, like many parents, I’m concerned about what my children get exposed to online. But I’m also concerned about what my children may do and say online. Whether it’s in a text message, on a discussion forum, in YouTube comments, or over the microphone while playing Xbox, I don’t want my children to become bullies, jerks, assholes, or douche bags. Being a regular consumer of various Internet sites, I’ve seen many, many, many bullies, jerks, assholes, and douche bags. There is something about anonymity plus an audience that makes people become horrible, terrible monsters. It actually saddens me.
A while back, while surfing YouTube, I saw the thumbnail of a video with the title, “World’s Ugliest Woman.” I didn’t click the link or view the video because that whole concept — labeling and showing someone like that — just isn’t something that interests me. I’ve seen enough of the Internet to know how cruel people can be to anyone.
A couple weeks ago, I saw a photo of some famous soccer player with a very, (abnormally), skinny woman. The title of the photo just had the athlete’s name and the woman’s name. I didn’t know either of them, so I checked the comments to see if someone explained who they were. Of course there were many cruel comments about the woman, but fortunately there were also some explanations of who she was. She was the woman from the YouTube video I mentioned above. Her name is Lizzie Velasquez, and she’s a motivational speaker.
This intrigued me, so I went back to YouTube and looked her up. She has her own channel, with many videos — both personal vlogs and her motivational speeches in front of large crowds. She is amazing. I’m a big fan of TED Talks, and I found she has a couple of her own. Watch this 12 minute speech:
After seeing this, I watched some of her other videos including her personal vlogs and some TV appearances, like on The View.
Her attitude is wonderful. “You can choose to be happy, or you can choose to give up.” Even listening to her chat off the top of her head in her vlogs is inspirational and motivational. She is so full of happiness to the point of even being a bit silly, rambling, and playing with her hair, that it makes me smile. She is a joy to watch.
Last night I introduced my family to Lizzie Velasquez. I brought up her TED talk on our TV and showed it to Wifegrit and our boys. Both my boys are pretty normal for 10 and 13 year olds. They could use a little inspiration/motivation, (especially the teenager), but my main goal with showing them this video was more to teach them against bullying.
I wanted them to hear about, and see and understand, how bullying, (both online as well as in person), affected a real person. I wanted them to hear, in a victim’s own words and voice, how much it hurts. You can hear Lizzie’s voice tremble a bit when she talks about it. You can tell it still bothers her. But she has risen above it, and she is a champion now.
I told my boys that I know them well enough that I don’t think either of them would ever be cruel to another person. But I explained how sometimes their friends may say something mean to someone else. And sometimes communicating on the Internet, with its disconnection and anonymity, lures good people into doing and saying terrible things. I explained that I want them to understand how being mean can really hurt someone, even online. Real people are at the other end of our words, whether we speak them or write them, and whether we can see the other person or not.
Also I want them to understand that sometimes they may meet or see someone who looks very different than they expect, but those persons are still human beings with feelings and hopes and dreams and hearts just like their own. I want my boys to have empathy for others. I think Wifegrit and I have taught them this already, and I think both boys do understand, but Ms. Velasquez’s speech really shows and explains this eloquently and personally.
I am so impressed with this woman. She is a beautiful person. I am so glad I found her videos.
So I got a letter from the North Carolina DMV telling me there had been complaints, (plural), about my personalized license plate, BULLGRIT.
Someone — more than one person — thinks that my plate, and therefore, my online and business name, is “offensive and in poor taste.” Wha?
So, I wrote back to the Special License Plate Unit Supervisor and explained:
This letter is the response you’ve requested regarding my license plate BULLGRIT. You asked me to explain what this personalized plate represents or means.
BULLGRIT® is my online/Internet name, under which I maintain a blog and t-shirt design business. It is also registered with the U.S. Patent and Trademark office.
My blog and my t-shirts are specifically family friendly — themed around fatherhood and life in the South. I’ve used Bullgrit as an online name for around 20 years, and as a business name for over 7 years. I’ve had the personalized license plate for at least 5 years.
I’m including a couple of my business cards with this letter. If you have any questions, or if I need to explain further, please let me know. Thank you.
Now, although I’m surprised that someone could or would take offense at my name, I refrained from being snarky in my reply. This supervisor probably gets complaints on license plates all the time, so she definitely didn’t need extra grief from me. Heck, I bet she doesn’t even really review the complaints, but rather, probably just generates a form letter to the plate owner. I’m assuming this because a quick Google search would have revealed what my license plate refers to.
A couple weeks later, I get the reply to my explanation:
So I get to keep my license plate. Not that losing it would cause me any harm or trouble, I’ve just come to really like it after these several years of having it.
But what in the world did the complainers think BULLGRIT meant? Since there isn’t any other meaning than my name — it’s a completely made up word — how could they take offense? It just goes to show that some people go through life trying to be offended. They look for any and every opportunity to clutch their pearls and gasp in righteous indignation. Just because they don’t recognize something, or don’t know what something is doesn’t mean it’s in any way offensive or poor taste. Sometimes a complaint says more about the ridiculousness of the complainer than of the object of their offense.
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