What’s In a Name?

I bumped into an old (previous job & company) coworker friend while wandering through Target the other day. “Hey, Bullgrit!” he said as he put out his hand.

“Hey. . .” I said as I gladly shook his hand. I avoided calling him, “Buddy” or “Dude.”

I hadn’t really forgotten his name – it’s Bob or Bill – no, really, it’s not what you think. See, he’s one of a pair of twins who both worked at the old company with me. One’s name is Bob, the other’s is Bill. I saw one only occasionally around the offices, but the other – the one I met again at Target – I actually worked closely with for over a year. I don’t know the former much at all, but the latter I got to know, and I like him.

But I can’t remember which was Bob and which was Bill. I mean, they’re identical twins with very similar names. I’m naturally bad with remembering names anyway, but when you give me two people who look nearly alike, whom I know from the same place, and they have such close names, come on! Tack on that it’s been at least three years since I saw either of them, and I consider it a success that I remember “Bob or Bill.”

[I’ll give their parents a pass on the names. They probably named the boys Robert and William, very different, without the nicknames coming to mind at the time.]

Bob-or-Bill and I chatted for several minutes in the computer game section of the store. (His son was looking for Halo 3, and I was looking at Portal.) I liked catching up a bit with Bob-or-Bill, but I was distracted with trying to remember his name.

I asked how his brother was doing, and if he was still at the old company. It was a sincere question, but I also hoped Bob-or-Bill would say his brother’s name. No luck on that.

So through our whole conversation, as we pushed our carts through the electronics department and toys aisles, he’d occasionally say my name, but I couldn’t say his name. After a couple minutes, I came to think I had his name pegged at Bob, but I didn’t want to say it and be mistaken. Which is more embarrassing: never saying your friend’s name during a conversation, or saying the wrong name? (Is it the same rule as for when having sex?)

I was so distracted by my conundrum that I failed to get his email address, or give him mine. We both have a web presence — although his is more of a business/store presence –- so we should have exchanged this info. But I was stuck on the Bob-or-Bill confusion.

I’m going to start carrying a pack of name tags and a big, black marker around with me. Whenever I bump into an old chum, I’ll pull out the tags and pen. I’ll write my name on one tag, and stick it to my chest. I’ll hand the other person a tag and the pen. This will help keep the distraction of wondering who they are out of my head so we can have a better and less stressful conversation. Thank you for your cooperation.

Bullgrit