Spent all yesterday morning at the hospital for Calfgrit6’s tonsillectomy. His doctor recommended the procedure after it was confirmed that he’d had strep throat 7 times over the passed year. Calfgrit10 had his tonsils removed a few years ago for the same reason. I’m the only one in our family who still has his tonsils — a fact I intend to brag about whenever I can. “My tonsils are STRONG!”

You know, it’s kind of ridiculous how long the whole outpatient surgery thing takes. The actual procedure was 40 minutes, but we were at the hospital for over 4 hours! His surgery was scheduled for 10:30, but we were to check in at 8:30. We were on time to the hospital, then we sat in the waiting room for about an hour and a half. We were taken back to the preparation room at 10:00, where we waited through meeting all the doctors, nurses, anesthesiologists, etc. until about 10:45. When they took Calfgrit6 back to the OR, his mother and I went back to the waiting room.

We sat in the waiting room for about 45 minutes, when the doc came out and quickly told us that everything went perfect and fine. A few minutes later and a nurse came out and took us back to the recovery room where our little boy had just awakened. We hung out in the recovery room till well after 1:00. Finally, we were able to take our little guy home.

Everyone in the staff at the hospital was great, though. Everyone from the front desk to the nurses in back in the prep and recovery rooms were very friendly and helpful, so I can’t complain about any way we were treated. It just takes a long time to go through the processing of everything at a busy hospital.

In the prep room, Calfgrit6 was great. We had been explaining and describing the whole process and concept of surgery to him for several days, so he was pretty aware of exactly he would be going through. The nurses at the hospital were very nice and helpful when dealing with him — he wasn’t the first child they’d dealt with there, even on that day. He picked out a smell for his gas mask, he drew on his bed sheet with (nurse provided, washable) magic markers, he watched some cartoons, and he took his oral meds very well. It was fun to watch the prep meds kicking in on him. He got glazed-eyed and slow, even at one point using his fingers to hold his eyes open to watch the TV.

In the recovery room, though, he was not doing well. He was in some pain and was feeling very sick. He was crying and pathetic. The nurses explained this sometimes happens, but it didn’t happen to Calfgrit10 those years ago, so we didn’t think to warn CG6 that he might feel this way afterward. We held him and rubbed his head and did all we could to make him feel better. He said, “I want my tonsils back.”

It took a long while, and some doses of morphine, to get him calm and quiet, but he did eventually get better so we could take him home. Once home, I picked him up from his car seat and carried him inside and upstairs to our bedroom. I laid him in our bed and covered him up. He lay there, calm and tired. I got halfway back down stairs when I heard him call out, weakly, “I’m going to throw up.” And then I heard that disgusting sound.

We ran back to the room to find him covered in yuck. He hadn’t eaten anything in about 20 hours, and most of his meds went through his I.V., so I don’t know how he could have anything in his stomach to throw up. We got him showered, and the bed sheets changed, and got him back in bed. He laid quietly and rested the remainder of the day, only barely eating or drinking anything.

Right before sleep time, we gave him some more pain meds. He immediately threw up again. <sigh> We waited a few minutes and then gave him the pain meds again. He held it down this time. Then we had to wake him up in the middle of the night to keep him on his pain meds schedule, and he threw that up several minutes later. All through the night and into early morning, he threw up everything he swallowed — water, pain meds, anti-nausea meds, nothing at all.

We didn’t expect this. No one has slept much, and the poor little guy is on the verge of dehydration. The doctor’s office open at 8:00 a.m., and we’re going to call then and see what can be done. He’s doing better this morning than when he was in the recovery room, but this has gotten complicated. We totally didn’t expect all this; Calfgrit10 didn’t have these problems after his tonsillectomy.

As hard as this is right now, the end result of this trauma should be that he’ll stop having so many throat infections. And that will mean a happier life for the little guy.

Bullgrit

My resident “adviser” has suggested that I really aught to make a post explaining who/what “Bullgrit” is. This adviser occasionally puts links to this site on her Facebook wall, and she sometimes gets questions about them. Questions like:

“What is BULLGRIT? Is the link safe to click on?”

“Who is Bullgrit?”

“Wow, that blogger is a big dork. I pity his wife. Do you know them?”

I reply to the advice with, “But there’s a Who is Bullgrit link right on the main page.”

But I’m told, “No one clicks on and reads that page.”

Okay, well, let me post that page here at the top of my blog to put it right up in front of everyone’s face:

* * *

Who is Bullgrit?

Good old boy, good ol’ boy, good ole boy – noun, informal, slang
A man having the qualities regarded as typical of males of small towns and rural areas of the South: a relaxed or informal manner, unsophisticated good fellowship, and strong loyalty to family and friends.

I was born, raised, and still live in the Southern region of the United States.
I currently live about a one hour drive from where I was born, two hours from where I grew up, three hours from where I went to college, and no more than four hours from anywhere I’ve ever had an address.

Although I’ve never lived outside the South, I have traveled a fair bit. In the US, I’ve traveled as far north as New York and Illinois, and as far west as Colorado and California, plus a few states between here and there. Outside the US, I’ve only been to Sweden, (so far).

I know the South, I love the South, I live the South. Other regions of the country, (and world), have their good stuff, but I’d never want to live there. The South, with all its good and bad, is my home.

I’m college-educated and open-minded. I’ve lived and worked with people from all over the country and world, so I’m pretty well diversificated. I’m not an ignorant redneck, although I’m no Renaissance man either.

I’m a writer and editor by profession.

I’m a writer and editor by hobby, also.

I’m 43 years old, and I have a wife and two young sons: Cowgrit, Calfgrit10, and Calfgrit6. (If it ain’t obvious, the number after the boys’ names represents their ages.)

In many ways, I’m a typical middle-aged, Southern, American man; in some ways I’m not. And whether it’s typical or not, I have a geek-streak: I like science fiction, fantasy, comic books, computer games, and table-top games.

Welcome to my world.

Bullgrit

My Father’s Day was spent with my boys, watching the original Star Wars trilogy.

I slept in pretty late Sunday morning while the boys played peacefully in their rooms. Now, I didn’t actually sleep straight all morning: Calfgrit6 woke me up at 6:30, but I waved him off to go play his Nintendo DS in his room until his brother woke up. I fell back to sleep until Calfgrit10 woke up around 8:00. I gave them both permission to just continue playing DS until I got up. (Playing DS in the morning is a very unusual activity, so they both were quite happy to leave me alone for as long as I would let them.) I fell in and out of sleep for another hour, and then got up to check on them. I told them to turn off their DSs and just play whatever else they wanted while I “rested” some more.

I went back to bed and turned on the bedroom TV. While I laid lazily in bed, in unusual peace and quiet, and watched some Law and Order, the boys went downstairs and made their own breakfast. They’re both capable of getting bagels or cereal and even toasting Eggos — they’ve done it many times before — so I didn’t worry about them. My bedroom door was open enough that if something happened, I’d hear it. But nothing disturbed me for another hour, and then I decided it was time to get on up and take a shower.

I took a nice long, 30-minute hot shower, and took another half hour to eventually get dressed. By then, it was nearing 11:00, so I announced we’d go to CiCi’s pizza buffet for an early lunch. “Yays!” all around. While sitting together stuffing our faces with pizza, we discussed what we should do on this day for dads. We decided to watch all three original Star Wars movies. “Yays!” all around.

When we got home, I had them clean up their toys scattered about the upstairs hall and loft while I put in the first video tape — yes, I own the original trilogy, (not the Special Edition edits), on VHS tape. When the boys came downstairs, we sat on the sofa and matching chair and watched the A New Hope and Empire Strikes Back one right after the other. Then we went out to Moe’s Mexican Grill for tacos as dinner.

We wasted no time after eating, and came right back home for Return of the Jedi. After the third movie, it was time to get ready for bed. The boys were cooperative and peaceful with the whole process, and I was soon ready for bed, myself.

Before hitting the sack, I went through the comic book boxes in my closet and pulled out a handful of old Spider-Man books. I spent the last couple hours of the night reading those old stories. Then I turned out the light and went to sleep.

It was a pretty decent Father’s Day.

Bullgrit

Calfgrit10 has shown interest in a lot of my D&D paraphernalia laying and hanging about my home office. I’ve given him some vague descriptions of D&D, but I’ve never played it with him nor given him a rulebook to read about it. Not that I haven’t wanted to, I’ve just been waiting for an appropriate level of maturity. I think he’s reached that maturity, now. So I told him to think of who he’d like to invite over for an afternoon introduction to the wonderful world of Dungeons & Dragons adventure.

He immediately had one particular friend in mind, so I noted him. Then he thought for a minute and gave me another friend’s name, and I noted him. Then he thought for another minute, and this time I suggested a friend’s name, which he agreed to, and I noted him. That would be four boys in total — a good number that maybe I could handle. I’ve run a D&D game many times through the years, but it’s been since never that I’ve done it for a group of 10 year olds. Especially a group of 10 year olds who have never been exposed to a table-top role playing game.

The boy whom I suggested, I know his father is/used to be a gamer similar to me, (we’ve briefly talked about it when our boys were hanging out together). I knew before I asked Calfgrit10, that I wanted to invite that dad and boy to join us. Not only would another classic gamer be sharing in a little nostalgia with our sons, but maybe having another dad present would make it easier for me to control the game. And I was glad that CG10 immediately agreed.

Once I got Calfgrit’s list of friends to invite, I gave thought to what edition of D&D did I want to run for them. Third edition is my personal preference for D&D gaming, but it’s too complicated for what is essentially a simple pick-up game. D&D3 is great for campaign-length gaming, but Basic D&D (1981 edition) is probably better for simple, introductory one-shot games. So I decided to run Basic D&D. And I’ll use the classic adventure module, In Search of the Unknown — the adventure module that served as my own personal first introduction to the game. The more I thought about this whole thing over the next several days, the more excited I got about it.

Maybe it could salve my disappointment over the last time I tried this with my adult game group:

• I’m Going to Run a Basic D&D Adventure
• Basic D&D Game Session — Creating the Characters
• Basic D&D Game Session — Enter the Dungeon
• Basic D&D Game Session — Re-entering the Dungeon

I sent emails to the three boys’ parents, explaining my plans, and waited for the responses.

I’m in the planning stage of having a game day where I’ll introduce [Calfgrit10] and some of his friends to a classic game of Dungeons & Dragons. (Basic D&D, 1981 edition, if you are familiar with the game.) We want to invite [boy] to join us, if he’s interested. It’s looking like the best date would be July 23, for about 4 hours in the afternoon.

Please let me know if [boy] would be interested, and if that date is workable.

The first reply was an immediate and positive response from the dad whom I was hoping would join us. The second reply didn’t come until I had sent a follow up email several days later.

I got a phone call from the boy’s mother. She was “concerned” about the concept, as she didn’t have positive knowledge of D&D. “From what I remember about it, it was something that studious kids avoided,” she said.

Her husband had played D&D some time in the past, but she had no firsthand experience with it, herself. She said her son tended to get somewhat obsessed with video games he played, so she wanted to think about it and talk with her husband about whether D&D would be appropriate for their son. I supported her wanting to talk it out, and made no defense of the game other than to point out it is more social than most video games — he’d be playing with three or four other boys at the table.

The idea that some of the parents might have memories of the old 80’s urban myths about D&D being related to the occult, and players going insane, did cross my mind before I sent out the emails. So I had already given thought to whether to, and how to, defend it if I needed to. My decision was that I would not defend the game in an effort to get some parent’s permission for their son to play. I didn’t want to talk anyone into letting their child do something they weren’t sure about, even if their concern was based on completely untrue old scary myths. I figured the most defense I would give would be to invite the parents to join the game day if they wanted, even if they just hung out in the room with us and watched.

But even as I considered how to handle mythical worries, I thought, (read: hoped), that such silly ideas had already been sufficiently debunked just by the number of modern dads, (and maybe moms), who probably played the game in their younger, (or even current), years. But then, I should have realized that people who have not experienced D&D in any way, directly or indirectly, really have no basis on which to personally debunk any of the myths. I mean, unless you’ve swallowed Pop Rocks and Pepsi at the same time, how would you know the mixture wouldn’t kill you?

So, anyway, a few days later, the mom called back and explained that, although her husband backed up the fact that D&D is just a game, and nothing sinister in any way, their son won’t be participating in our game. They don’t want him obsessing over it like he has shown a propensity to do with video games. Fair enough. I have no problem with their decision.

The third boy we invited, I’ve had a hard time connecting with his mother. Her email bounced, and she hasn’t returned our phone call, yet. So we’ve got just one boy and dad so far planning to join our adventure afternoon. Calfgrit10 has given me another friend to invite, and I’ll be sending his parents an email tonight. I hope we can get some more takers. D&D is much more fun with a group of friends. Without the group dynamic, it looses a major enjoyment factor.

Bullgrit