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The Bottomless 3 Year Old

Our 3 year old will not eat a full meal at meal time; he will eat only half of what you put in front of him at breakfast, lunch, and dinner, regardless of how much you give him. It drives me crazy how much food he wastes. And then, and hour later, he claims, “I’m real hungry.” He wants a snack about every hour—sometimes it’s every half hour.

During a given day, we hear, “I’m real hungry,” about a dozen times. We fix him three mini pancakes (frozen, microwavable pancakes about two inches in diameter) and he eats one and a bite off another. We give him a small carton of yogurt and he eats half of it.

An hour later: “I’m real hungry.” We give him some grapes.

An hour later: “I’m real hungry.” We give him some crackers.

An hour later: “I’m real hungry.” We give him a banana, of which he only eats half.

An hour later, we make lunch. He eats half his sandwich and half his corn.

An hour later: “I’m real hungry.” We give him the rest of his sandwich and corn, and he eats half (a quarter of the original whole).

An hour later: “I’m real hungry.” We give him some mac & cheese, and he eats half.

An hour later: “I’m real hungry.” We give him the remaining half of his banana, of which he only eats half (a quarter of the original whole).

An hour later: “I’m real hungry.” We give him some crackers.

An hour later, we make dinner. He eats half his spaghetti and half his green beans.

He used to say, “I’m real hungry,” again, an hour later, when we’re getting him ready for bed, but we’ve nixed that little game. We’ve explained to him that he needs to get full at dinner because we won’t be eating again until breakfast. It took a couple times for him to realize we’re serious, but now he knows. He still will only eat half his dinner.

He eats his fill, or so he tells us, at each meal and each snack, but an hour later, “I’m real hungry.” Arrggh!

Bullgrit
bullgrit@totalbullgrit.com

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Adventuring Can Be a Crappy Job

The characters in this campaign:
Human barbarian/sorcerer 1/6
Human cleric 7
Elf fighter (archer) 7 [absent this session]
Human cleric 4 [NPC]

The adventurers in my Eternal Heroes campaign just delved beneath the streets of a large town. Exploring a secret section of the old sewer system, they encountered an otyugh, a gibbering mouther, another gibbering mouther, a mimic, another otyugh, four ogre zombies, a phantasmal killer spell trap, and a vacuous grimoire.

The barbarian/sorcerer died to the phantasmal killer trap, and the cleric lost 2 points of wisdom from the vacuous grimoire. The barbarian/sorcerer self-raised the next morning, and the cleric is getting the wisdom drain fixed with restoration. When they came out of the sewer complex, they were stinky and nasty. Both PCs ended up in the brown “water” of the tunnels at least once, were slapped and bitten by the otyughs, and were vomited on by the mouthers.

They both role played the situation very well, and it was all good fun (at least for me, the DM). Adventures like this, where the PCs come out of the dungeon with somethings nasty to show for their efforts is really fun, compared to the kinds of adventures where they come out showing no sign of any kind of struggle or trouble.

Bullgrit
bullgrit@totalbullgrit.com

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World of Warcraft

Hallow’s End is back. I brought my level 70 orc hunter out of Outland and went to Undercity and Brill to do some seasonal quests. I picked up the quests to throw rotten eggs in Southshore, and then went over to Brill to see about the Headless Horseman. The Horseman only comes at certain times, and an orc matron in the town will tell you how long till the next appearance.

I was in Brill for one of the Horseman’s attacks, and it was interesting for the first minute, but a big waste of time for the following 20 minutes.

A “shade” of the horseman flies over the town and sets some of the buildings on fire. The shade is only level 11, and I targeted it and tried to shoot it out of the air. Sadly, I get a “That is an invalid target” error message. I then tried to put out the fires (“Stop the fires!” quest from the orc matron). There’s a water well and buckets near where the fires start, and you can load one bucket at a time. You then go to a burning building and throw the bucket of water at the fire. After I started fighting the fire, a few more PCs joined in. Trying to put a fire out is an exercise in futility. I only managed to put out small sections of one of the fires, but within a few seconds, sparks set that part on fire again. I eventually gave up and left Brill to burn.

I decided to take on the Headless Horseman himself, at the Scarlet Monastery graveyard. I joined up with a team and we entered. It’s kind of funny to just run past all the SM guards and not worry about aggro. We only ever aggroed one or two who happened to wander into our path. But once we got to the actual graveyard, we had to clear the area of all the walking dead. It was easy, since we were all level 70s and the monsters are no more than level 33.

We summoned and killed the horseman three times (each player can summon him once a day). I got the magic flying broom on the second looting.

Then I went to Southshore to stink bomb the streets and put rotten eggs in their brew. It’s a lot easier to do this quest at level 70 than it was at level 60, last year. (Check out my November 2 post below.) I basically just waltzed into the town center and threw my bombs. Each time, I drew aggro from a guard or three, but I just turned and ran off and they let me go. I did end up killing two PCs (one of them twice) in the adventure. All in all, the Southshore quest was more fun than the Headless Horseman stuff.

Bullgrit
bullgrit@totalbullgrit.com

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Shooting

My dad, my brother, and I got together for a few hours and fired off a few dozen rounds of ammunition. I haven’t shot a gun in a couple or three years, so I was excited to get the chance again. I grew up with guns, for hunting, for target practice, and for just the appreciation of the things.

We first went by a store and picked up a couple boxes of ammunition and a package of paper targets, then we stopped by my dad’s house to choose the guns. We loaded the car trunk up and went out to my late granddad’s farm. A wooded area at the back of the farm has served as our shooting range countless times over the years. One particular tree must have a few hundred bullets in it.

There’s a dirt tractor trail that leads back to and into those woods a little ways. My dad backed his car to the entrance of the woods, and popped the trunk. We all got out and set about organizing the guns and ammo. Our armament for this day included a .22 semi-automatic target pistol, a .22 revolver, a .38 revolver, a .38 Special revolver, a .357 magnum revolver, and a SKS semi-automatic rifle.

I slide cartridges into my dad’s .357. It’s an old-style single action revolver, and we have a gunfighter rig holster, complete with leather straps to tie it down to our leg. I spent many hours in my teen years practicing with that gun in that holster. I was fast on the draw, and could twirl it like any movie star. But it’s been too many years since that practice, so I avoided showing off too much at this time (and never with it loaded). Still, it felt good sliding it in and out of that holster on my thigh.

While my dad and brother continued getting the stuff arranged in the trunk, I stepped on into the woods. The first thing I encountered was a snake. I heard a rattle about a yard from my feet, and I froze in place. Once I pinpointed the danger, I took a couple steps back. I heard a rattlesnake’s tail, but I saw a black snake’s head. Eventually the snake slunk out of the pile of leaves and slithered away, “rattling” its tail the whole time. It was at least three feet long, but the rattle was made by the black snake vibrating its tail in the dried leaves. My brother expressed that I should have shot it, but I didn’t see a need; black snakes eat rats, and it went off peacefully into the brush without a problem. It wouldn’t be a danger to us.

Then my dad and brother came into the woods with me, each carrying a loaded .38. We explored about 100 yards of the woods before getting down to shooting.

When I was young, there were a couple old cars in the woods, but nothing else. Many years ago, those cars were dragged out and taken away so some loggers could thin out the woods a little. Since then, the trees have grown back, and a ton of useless metal junk has been added.

My uncle still lives on the farm, and he is an unbelievable collector of junk. His yard, at the front of the farm, has piles of various junk machinery, and his junk collection has spread to the woods at the back of the farm. Walking through the woods, I counted 23 riding lawnmowers—rusted, busted, and completely worthless. There’s lots of other junk, too: cars, push lawnmowers, tillers, go-carts, tires, and piles of stuff I can’t readily identify. Fortunately, the alley to our favorite target tree was open and clear.

I called first shot, and tacked a paper target on the tree. We measured 10 paces from the tree (about 30 feet), and marked the distance with a stick. Thirty feet is not very far for target shooting, but we were all a few years out of practice and we wanted to actually hit the target. The target is 12 inches across, with 8 inches of black rings, and 1 inch of red bull’s-eye. I put all six bullets in the target, five of them in the black. I cleared my target and let my brother set up.

My brother put all six of his bullets in the target, even getting one in the bull’s-eye. My dad also put six bullets in his target. We weren’t doing too bad. Had we been a more standard distance from the target, I figure we still would have been hitting with most of our shots. Their .38 shots were putting nice, neat holes in the target, but my .357 shots were ripping the hell out of the paper and knocking out chunks of the tree bark. When you see something like that, you realize just how powerful and deadly a gun can be.

My brother and I then wanted to compare our skill with the .22 target pistol. He got first shot in this challenge. He rapid fired (about two shots per second) and got nine out of ten bullets in the target. I fired slower (about one shot per second) and put all ten in the target, all in the ring right around the bull’s-eye.

“I fired faster than you did,” he said.

“I thought we were looking for accuracy,” I retorted.

Then my brother loaded the SKS. We put up a fresh target, and measured out about 90 feet. He knelt and put the rifle to his shoulder. He took his time shooting at the longer range and put most of the nine bullets in the target. (I’ve forgotten exactly how he scored that time.)

After that, our time for the afternoon was running out. We made sure the guns were cleared, and then put everything back in the trunk of the car. It had been a fun little time, and I was so proud of my targets that I kept them and brought them home.

And for the record, we are not a group of stupid rednecks fooling around with firearms. We were careful and respectful. We used earplugs, made sure everyone was clear and behind the shooter, and never pointed a loaded gun anywhere but down. I don’t think more than three bullets went anywhere other than into that one target tree, and we picked up the spent shells after firing (except we couldn’t get all the 7.62mm shells because the SKS throws them out so far).

But, I’ll admit that I don’t think we could have chosen a more redneck location for the shooting. We all agreed that the next time we do this, we’ll go to a formal range.

Bullgrit
bullgrit@totalbullgrit.com

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