Cowgrit wanted me to get my cholesterol checked. She’s concerned about my health because I’m getting older, and my diet is . . . less than good. I don’t feel unhealthy. I get some exercise each day — I can run and jump and climb stuff with my boys. I’m not fat — I can see and touch my feet.

So I had some blood drawn for the tests. I just got back the numbers, and in the words of the nurse at the doctor’s office, “You’re good.” All my numbers — more than just cholesterol — are deep in the healthy range. Ha! My meat and potatoes (and desert) diet isn’t killing me.

My personal gauge of healthiness is whether I can pick Cowgrit up off the floor. When it comes that I can’t lift her up, then I’ll say that one of us has a problem. But with my “over 40” status now, I fear that I’ll be the first to have the problem. I’m more likely to be the one whose body starts failing the lifting test. Maybe I need to tempt her with cake and ice cream more often. Skinny chick.

Bullgrit
bullgrit@totalbullgrit.com

Viewed: Theater

I’ve never read any of the Hellboy comics, but I enjoyed the first Hellboy movie, so I expected to enjoy this sequel. Sadly, no. It wasn’t really bad; it was just failed to succeed for me. There were a lot of little problems with it. Things like:

Liz’s fire apparently isn’t hot — she doesn’t burn anything around her when she’s lit up, including people, like when she pats Abe’s shoulder while in full flame. (I’m willingly giving her clothes a pass on this complaint.)

Red’s powerful handgun has no penetration — he shoots down a tiny, bug-sized fairy right in front of a crowd of civilians, but the slug doesn’t go through and hit the civs.

Red clobbers a harmless little-old troll lady, knocking her 50 feet into a wall. That doesn’t endear me to him.

Red takes a dozen punches to the face from an ogre’s iron gauntlet, but a thrown beer can cuts his face.

The badass elf prince physically attacks and kills anyone who gets in his way, except Red and friends. Then he uses a convoluted surrogate.

Near the end, when the group is attacked by the Golden Army, no mechanical soldier bothers Liz or Abe, who are standing right there in the middle of them.

All the turning gears in the Golden Army “throne room” don’t actually connect with each other. They’re apparently just for show.

The above are just a few of the problems that I noticed; just the ones that came to mind immediately as I wrote this. There are many more. And they all add up to prevent my suspension of disbelief.

And the end of the movie, after the climax, just makes no sense. The team members each make a decision (the same decision) that really follows no logic. This last part left me thinking, “Huh? Why?” I could see the rash Hellboy making that decision, but the others apparently completely loose their intelligence and follow along.

Visually, the locations and scenes are pretty cool and fun. The basic story and plot is interesting. But the way it plays out, and many minor problems all make me not love this movie. I don’t hate it, but I don’t really like it. I don’t expect a fantasy movie like this to be realistic, but it should be believable. This one is unbelievable in logic and physics.

There is nothing to see after the credits.

Bullgrit
bullgrit@totalbullgrit.com

July 17 was my 41st birthday. It kind of came and went without much notice by me. My family remembered and gave me cards and cupcakes, but to me, the day just kind of passed.

I usually like to take the day for myself, to do whatever I want without any plans or expectations from anyone else. I play computer games, go to comic book and/or game stores, I watch TV, I read, I go to lunch or dinner by myself with a good book, etc. This time, though, I just went to work like a regular day. It was my usual game night, though, so I did get to play D&D with my friends. But that’s something I do every week, so it wasn’t something special.

Next year is the big four-two, when maybe I’ll learn the answer to life, the universe, and everything. This year just officially put me in the “over 40” category. I don’t see anything particularly exciting about that category.

Bullgrit
bullgrit@totalbullgrit.com