As I mentioned yesterday, I’ve got to get a new computer. My old computer (now with a dead motherboard) was 5 years old. At the time I bought it, I made sure it had all the features and functions I needed for everything I wanted to do then, and for upgrading to anything that I might want to do in the next few years. It served me well.

I used to be the family computer guru. When anyone in my immediate or extended family needed help or advice or answers about their computers, they called me. But over the past few years, my ability to help them has diminished considerably.

The other day, with my dad, he asked me what the difference was between 5GB vs. 512KB RAM. I explained, of course, the difference between a gigabyte and a kilobyte, and then I also said he was actually, though, looking at two different things about the computer. Obviously, the 5GB was a small hard drive (maybe a secondary something?), rather than RAM like the 512KB.

This weekend, I started looking at new computers. One of the first things I found was RAM measured around 3-7 GB. Holy crap! My old computer started out as 512KB, and I upgraded it a couple years ago to 1GB. Now they come off the shelf at 5 GB?!

Reading the spec sheets for new computers is like reading gibberish, to me. What the hell are all these names and numbers? Looking at the port setups on these new computers is like looking gazing into the Far Realm.

The first computer I looked at had five ports on the front. One was a USB port, but I haven’t a clue what the other four ports are. I know of nothing that fits their size and shape.

Twenty-five years ago I could strip down a computer box to its separate components, and then take apart the individual components, and then put them all back within 30 minutes. Ten years ago I could pick out specific components by specific manufacturers and install them all myself. Five years ago I could talk intelligently with computer salespeople and understand their guidance on the best components, and I could check their installation work for quality. Now, I’m completely freakin’ lost with computers. Oh my god!

The spec names and numbers make no sense, the physical components confuse me, and my world is crumbling around me. Technology has outpaced me. I’m behind the computer knowledge curve. Way behind. I feel . . . old.

Gray hair? Looks kind of cool.

Need eyeglasses? Well, OK.

Don’t understand basic computer jargon? OMG!!1!1!!! I’M DYING!!!one!!

What’s next? I’ll tell the neighborhood kids to get off my lawn? (But it’s newly sodded!)

Bullgrit

We will close on our new house at 4:00 Wednesday afternoon. Then we move in Saturday morning. We’re so ready and anxious about this. Every day feels like a week waiting.

In addition to Christmas shopping, we’ve been looking for and buying new furniture for the new house. It’s a bit bigger than our previous place, so we need more furniture, (we have four more rooms to fill). Plus it’s time to replace some of the old furniture we’ve had since we got married and bought our first house.

As I’ve mentioned in previous posts, we’re living with my mother-in-law (for four months) while waiting for our new house to be built. And as if adding four more people to her home space wasn’t crowding things enough, in the past couple of weeks, we’ve pulled in some new furniture and such to store in her garage and living room.

We’ve got a new dining room table and six chairs, a new TV stand, and a new 40″ LCD TV (still in the box). And this is all in addition to the many boxes and a few book shelves we already had stored at her house during our time between homes. Her house is starting to look like a furniture store.

One good thing about being in the market for this much stuff during the Christmas season is that we can find some really good deals. But the bad thing about it is that we have to buy it immediately for fear of the store selling out, and we have to take it immediately because stores won’t hold it (it takes up valuable selling space for them), and delivery during Christmas is often not timely.

For instance, the new TV: I’ve been looking at these things for many weeks, now. We determined the better brand names, decided on the features we wanted, and judged the minimum size we’d like. Cowgrit checked the various web sites daily, and I kept visiting the various stores weekly. The prices for our choices seemed to be pretty standard among the sellers after all these weeks, even with the Christmas sales. But then we found, without looking for it, a deal for our TV at $100 lower than anything we had seen before. And there were only two boxes left in the store.

When we got home (without the TV), I got online and checked that particular model. It had everything we wanted, and still no where else had it for even close to this price. I went right back out that store and bought the set.

Although the Y chromosome in my genes urges me toward a bigger TV set every time I’m looking at the store wall of screens (those 52″ monsters are amazing!), my innate practicality calms me down by reminding me how rarely I actually watch TV, anyway. Heck, most movies I rent, I watch on my computer.

And speaking of my computer, the motherboard burned out on me. I’m now using a secondary “loaner.” I’ll be buying me a new machine as soon as we get moved into the new house, unless I find a great deal on one in the next couple of days. If so, that’ll be another thing sitting in my mother’s-in-law living room waiting for moving day.

Bullgrit

I had just left my office parking lot, and was sitting in the line waiting for a red traffic light to turn green. It had been raining all day, and was it was still pouring down. A minivan comes to a stop beside me in the lane to my right.

The driver rolled down his window — it was a younger guy with a shaved head. He motioned with his hand for me to roll down my window. I figured he needed to ask for directions or something. I flipped the switch to roll down my passenger side window.

“Dude!” he said shouted with a big smile, “You just won a new entertainment system!”

I immediately rolled my eyes.

“No, really,” he said. He pressed the button on his door to roll down the back window of his van.

My window was going up before his got half-way down. He waved at me and shouted, “Seriously, dude!”

“Go away,” I said just before my window closed all the way. (Thinking now, I wish I had said something stronger, ’cause that would make me seem tough and edgy.)

He apparently gave up on me, and pulled up a little further in his lane. I pulled out my cell phone and took a picture of his license plate just before the light ahead of both of us changed to green. I took one more picture before he got out of range.

This makes me wonder what are these kinds of guys looking for in a sucker? What about me or my car told them that I might be stupid enough to fall for whatever con they were trying to pull?

And even if I fell for the set up, what exactly were they expecting me to do? I mean, we were in heavy traffic, with rain falling, and we were in different lanes for opposite directions. If I were the idiot they hoped I was, I’d have a hard time figuring out how to connect with these guys to collect my “prize.”

I really hope (though I realize it’s probably a lost hope) that there aren’t people in this world dumb enough to fall for this kind of set up. That was ridiculously lame.

“Oh, wow! Really? I won a new entertainment system by just sitting in my car at an intersection! I’m really lucky today!”

Bullgrit

We were browsing a furniture store, looking for a new chair for our new den in our new house. The saleswoman had spoken to us, but was letting us roam on our own by our request. As we were completing our circuit through the store, and about to make our way out, the saleswoman broke away from talking with her coworker (another woman) and thanked us for coming by.

Then she added, to me, “Has anyone ever told you, you look that guy on General Hospital?” She looked back at her coworker, “What’s his name? Oh, yeah, Josh.”

I looked at my wife, then back at the saleswomen. “No, I haven’t heard that.”

“Well, you look just like him,” she reaffirmed.

I just smiled. “Well, I hope he’s handsome?”

“Oh,” said the saleswoman, “he’s doable.”

“Yes,” confirmed the other saleswoman.

My eyebrows shot up. I looked at my wife again. I gave a friendly chuckle to the saleswomen, and we continued our exit from the store.

When we got in our van, and closed the doors, I said, “For the record, I’m doable.”

Bullgrit