Coming home from work, I walked into the house and said, “Hey, everyone.” There was no reaction from my boys, playing in the den.

Cowgrit was in the kitchen, to my left, cooking dinner. She said, “They’re wrapped up with themselves right now. They didn’t even hear you.”

I put my backpack down on the floor, against the wall, and walked into the kitchen to give her a hug. As we stood there in our embrace, we could see the boys through the opening between the kitchen and den. Calfgrit4 looked up at us, and without saying anything, he stood up and started running.

“Now he’s noticed,” Cowgrit said.

CG4 left the den in a dash, rounded the foyer, and ran through the kitchen doorway. I braced for impact, and he collided into my backside to join our hug at a dead run. His height compared to me is such that if not for strong jeans, and a wary clinching of the buttocks . . . .

Bullgrit

We Grits all sat together on the sofa last night and watched A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving on network television. It’s been many years since I saw this show, and Calfgrit7 had never seen it before. Calfgrit4 saw it at preschool a few days ago. (We all saw A Charlie Brown Christmas last year, so they were familiar with Chuck and friends.)

The things that stand out to me, now, about this show: 1- the art is so very basic, even amateurish-looking; 2- the voice acting is very out of character for 8-year old kids. Now, for the record, these two notes aren’t complaints, they’re merely observations. Although I would complain about the voice acting if it wasn’t a classic of American culture.

The thing about the voice acting that just gets on my nerves is that the kids speak so formally, and no one uses contractions. They do not use contractions. This just grates on my nerves. But . . .

Calfgrit7 loved the show. Loved it! He was laughing out loud through the whole thing. He fell off the sofa a couple times laughing so hard. Calfgrit4 didn’t laugh out loud, but he had a smile on his face the entire time. I could tell he was enjoying the show, but he just wasn’t being boisterous like his big brother.

Cowgrit and I kept looking at each other and smiling at CG7’s giggling. I remember enjoying the Charlie Brown shows as a kid. But I don’t find them funny or particularly entertaining as an adult. I wonder how old I was the last time I laughed out loud at Charlie Brown? At what age does this thing stop being funny?

Bullgrit

We were on a family outing for the evening, and Calfgrit7 was sitting beside me showing off his latest Pokémon cards. Cowgrit had bought him a new pack of cards since the last time we played the game, so most of these were new to me. I was trying to read them, but I didn’t have my new glasses with me.

I could read the hit points and attack damages, barely. But for the attack descriptions, I had to hold the card about two feet from my face, and shift it just right to get good lighting on it. God, getting old sucks.

Then CG7 pointed to a part of the card I was holding and asked, “How does this power work?”

I pulled the card closer to my eyes, I held it away from my eyes, I shifted it this way and that to get lighting, and then tried reading, “Lustrous Orb. If . . . an . . . Active . . . Pokemon . . . has . . . Weakness . . . to . . . water . . . type, . . . Palkia’s . . . attacks . . .”

“You want me to read it for you?” my second-grader asked me.

How freakin’ pathetic am I? “Thanks, but no,” I said. “I can read it. Just give me a minute.” I finally did finish reading it, and I explained it to him. (I gave him my best guess, anyway, as I’ve never seen this kind of power on a Pokemon — it’s not a Poke-POWER or a Poke-BODY.)

When we got home, after the boys went to bed, I pulled out that card from his stack left on the kitchen counter. I put on my reading glasses and tried to read it again. Holy geez, but it’s difficult for me to read that tiny writing even with my glasses on. The next time I play Pokemon with him, I’m going to need a magnifying glass at hand.

It’s sad for me to think that being able to read the dag-blame game cards are going to start being an obstacle for me to play games with my boys. Do I need to petition Pokemon to make special large print versions of their cards?

Bullgrit

Cowgrit took Calfgrit4 out for a few hours Saturday so Calfgrit7 and I could watch Star Wars (A New Hope). Friday night, I told CG7 that we’d do this. He was hesitant. “I might not want to watch it,” he said. “Is it scary?” he asked.

I told him it might have some scary parts, but nothing really scary. And he didn’t have to watch it if he didn’t want to.

When the time came, I told him I was going to watch it and he could watch it with me, or he could go to his room and play with his toys. I didn’t want to stress him. But he seemed excited, and he sat down on the couch with me. He held a clone trooper action figure in one hand and an Anakin Skywalker lego mini figure in his other hand as the movie started.

I read the scrolling introduction text aloud because, although he can read, I wasn’t sure he could read it fast enough and understand what it was explaining. Then Tantive IV rushed through space, followed by the massive star destroyer. Calfgrit7 was immediately engrossed.

All during the movie, he asked many questions. When the story introduced Luke Skywalker, he asked about the order of the films. “This is the fourth part of the story,” I explained, “but it was the first movie made.”

Sadly, he already knows that Anakin Skywalker, Luke’s father, becomes Darth Vader. In fact, when Ben Kenobi told Luke that Vader “betrayed and murdered” his father, CG7 spoke up to say, “No, he’s still alive.”

This was the problem I was fearing. He knows so much about the Star Wars story already, but he’s never seen any of the movies. He knows who Yoda is, so he won’t be surprised when he reveals himself to Luke in the next movie. He won’t be stunned by Vader’s pronouncement that he is Luke’s father. He won’t be shocked when Luke tells Leia they are brother and sister. Etc.

But fortunately, there were many things, non-plot things, that CG7 didn’t know. He liked how the Force worked — “These are the not droids you’re looking for.” He had never seen a lightsaber in action. He didn’t know Han was going to shoot Greedo at the table. He had never seen the real inside of the Millennium Falcon. He didn’t realize how big Chewbecca was. He didn’t know how big the Death Star was. He had never seen the starfighters in action. He had never heard what blasters sound like.

He had never even heard what R2-D2 sounds like. When he and Calfgrit4 played with Artoo, they had him talk like everyone else. The beeping fascinated him. He’s now explained it to CG4.

So although the overall story was known and spoiled, it was the minor details that really got his attention. He’s already stated his interest to see the next two movies. But since I’ve seen that the story surprises are already lost, we won’t be in a rush to see them all this weekend. We’ll space them out a bit over the next couple of weeks. Maybe we’ll watch them over Thanksgiving weekend.

Bullgrit