Calfgrit10 has shown interest in a lot of my D&D paraphernalia laying and hanging about my home office. I’ve given him some vague descriptions of D&D, but I’ve never played it with him nor given him a rulebook to read about it. Not that I haven’t wanted to, I’ve just been waiting for an appropriate level of maturity. I think he’s reached that maturity, now. So I told him to think of who he’d like to invite over for an afternoon introduction to the wonderful world of Dungeons & Dragons adventure.

He immediately had one particular friend in mind, so I noted him. Then he thought for a minute and gave me another friend’s name, and I noted him. Then he thought for another minute, and this time I suggested a friend’s name, which he agreed to, and I noted him. That would be four boys in total — a good number that maybe I could handle. I’ve run a D&D game many times through the years, but it’s been since never that I’ve done it for a group of 10 year olds. Especially a group of 10 year olds who have never been exposed to a table-top role playing game.

The boy whom I suggested, I know his father is/used to be a gamer similar to me, (we’ve briefly talked about it when our boys were hanging out together). I knew before I asked Calfgrit10, that I wanted to invite that dad and boy to join us. Not only would another classic gamer be sharing in a little nostalgia with our sons, but maybe having another dad present would make it easier for me to control the game. And I was glad that CG10 immediately agreed.

Once I got Calfgrit’s list of friends to invite, I gave thought to what edition of D&D did I want to run for them. Third edition is my personal preference for D&D gaming, but it’s too complicated for what is essentially a simple pick-up game. D&D3 is great for campaign-length gaming, but Basic D&D (1981 edition) is probably better for simple, introductory one-shot games. So I decided to run Basic D&D. And I’ll use the classic adventure module, In Search of the Unknown — the adventure module that served as my own personal first introduction to the game. The more I thought about this whole thing over the next several days, the more excited I got about it.

Maybe it could salve my disappointment over the last time I tried this with my adult game group:

• I’m Going to Run a Basic D&D Adventure
• Basic D&D Game Session — Creating the Characters
• Basic D&D Game Session — Enter the Dungeon
• Basic D&D Game Session — Re-entering the Dungeon

I sent emails to the three boys’ parents, explaining my plans, and waited for the responses.

I’m in the planning stage of having a game day where I’ll introduce [Calfgrit10] and some of his friends to a classic game of Dungeons & Dragons. (Basic D&D, 1981 edition, if you are familiar with the game.) We want to invite [boy] to join us, if he’s interested. It’s looking like the best date would be July 23, for about 4 hours in the afternoon.

Please let me know if [boy] would be interested, and if that date is workable.

The first reply was an immediate and positive response from the dad whom I was hoping would join us. The second reply didn’t come until I had sent a follow up email several days later.

I got a phone call from the boy’s mother. She was “concerned” about the concept, as she didn’t have positive knowledge of D&D. “From what I remember about it, it was something that studious kids avoided,” she said.

Her husband had played D&D some time in the past, but she had no firsthand experience with it, herself. She said her son tended to get somewhat obsessed with video games he played, so she wanted to think about it and talk with her husband about whether D&D would be appropriate for their son. I supported her wanting to talk it out, and made no defense of the game other than to point out it is more social than most video games — he’d be playing with three or four other boys at the table.

The idea that some of the parents might have memories of the old 80’s urban myths about D&D being related to the occult, and players going insane, did cross my mind before I sent out the emails. So I had already given thought to whether to, and how to, defend it if I needed to. My decision was that I would not defend the game in an effort to get some parent’s permission for their son to play. I didn’t want to talk anyone into letting their child do something they weren’t sure about, even if their concern was based on completely untrue old scary myths. I figured the most defense I would give would be to invite the parents to join the game day if they wanted, even if they just hung out in the room with us and watched.

But even as I considered how to handle mythical worries, I thought, (read: hoped), that such silly ideas had already been sufficiently debunked just by the number of modern dads, (and maybe moms), who probably played the game in their younger, (or even current), years. But then, I should have realized that people who have not experienced D&D in any way, directly or indirectly, really have no basis on which to personally debunk any of the myths. I mean, unless you’ve swallowed Pop Rocks and Pepsi at the same time, how would you know the mixture wouldn’t kill you?

So, anyway, a few days later, the mom called back and explained that, although her husband backed up the fact that D&D is just a game, and nothing sinister in any way, their son won’t be participating in our game. They don’t want him obsessing over it like he has shown a propensity to do with video games. Fair enough. I have no problem with their decision.

The third boy we invited, I’ve had a hard time connecting with his mother. Her email bounced, and she hasn’t returned our phone call, yet. So we’ve got just one boy and dad so far planning to join our adventure afternoon. Calfgrit10 has given me another friend to invite, and I’ll be sending his parents an email tonight. I hope we can get some more takers. D&D is much more fun with a group of friends. Without the group dynamic, it looses a major enjoyment factor.

Bullgrit

Our boys had been playing outside with some of their neighborhood friends, when they burst in the front door, excited. “Mom, Dad, there’s a turtle in the yard!”

Cowgrit and I put on our shoes and went out to see the thing. We expected a small, little thing, maybe the size of our hand. But what we found was a monster.

Here it is next to my size 10.5 shoe:

Our boys and two or three of the neighborhood kids were standing around it in awe. Our yard is at least 200 yards from the nearest water — a retaining pond in our neighborhood and one in the neighborhood across the road. How this big thing got to our yard is a mystery. However it managed the feat, in its slow turtle way, is amazing.

I picked it up, and it immediately retreated into its shell. I held it for the kids to look at up close and touch. (I put it back down to take the pic for size reference.) The Calfgrits were asking if we could keep it as a pet. Calfgrit6 was just about in love with it; he couldn’t stop touching its shell.

We decided we needed to take it down to the neighborhood pond for release so it would have water and food aplenty, and be protected inside a fence. So I carried it while Cowgrit and the calves walked along with me. As we took it down the street, we stopped here and there to show other neighborhood kids the animal. We even had a man and son pull over in their car to get out and look at it. The dad was more impressed with it than his 12-year-old son.

At the pond, I set it down next to the water, and we all said bye and wished it health and happiness.

Such a simple thing, really, but it was a cool situation. It’s not everyday you find a huge turtle in your yard. And all the kids in the neighborhood got a thrill getting up close and touching a live wild animal.

Bullgrit

Several weeks ago, Calfgrit10 mentioned that his school was going to start a chess club, and he would like to join it. Very cool. We’d love for him to have some kind of club or thing to participate in. He’s not usually interested in group participation.
 
Yesterday was the first gathering for the club, and I left work early so I could be there with him at 4:00. His school lets out at 3:45, so the rush was dying down by the time I walked into the school building. I was directed to the Media Center, (what my generation called the Library), by the principal who was corralling the last of the carpool kids at the front door.
 
In the Media Center, I found Calfgrit10 already in the middle of a game with another boy his age. There were about 20 kids, altogether, and about 10 parents, (mostly moms). Talking with the adults around, it seemed that most didn’t know how to play chess, themselves. At least one mom and one dad, other than me, did know enough to coach their kids during games.
 
This whole gathering was just a free-play event. The teacher organizing the club said she knew the basics of the game, but didn’t know any real strategies. She was hoping a parent or two could help out with the actual coaching and teaching. So I stood over my son and tried my hand at coaching a little.
 
Calfgrit10 seemed to be having a lot of fun. He was talking and laughing with his opponents, generally being silly and funny. But he wasn’t trying to win a game. He’d get so wrapped up in just wanting to move one piece around the board that he’d just ignore that his opponents were capturing his other pieces left and right. When I told him to think about all the pieces he could move, he tended to just stop and wouldn’t do anything. When I advised him to think about what his opponent’s next move would be, (even after his opponent had stated what he wanted to do), he would just cross his arms and say, “I don’t know.”
 
Obviously he didn’t want me sticking my nose in his fun. He just wanted to play around without care about winning or losing. Okay. I backed off. I wasn’t trying to push him or mess up his fun.
 
But I know him. He likes to win at any game and sport he plays. In fact, he always claims he “didn’t have fun” when he loses at something. When he plays chess, or any game, with me, he’s very competitive. He seems to play to win.
 
Well, I just let him play after he shut down at my advice. He went back to talking and laughing and seeming to have fun. He lost two games and won one.
 
One our walk home from school after the meeting, he claimed to not have had fun. When I asked if he’d like to go back next week, he said, “I’d just rather go home and do my homework.” That’s weird. He hates doing homework. We have to hover around him every night to make sure he stays on his homework till he finishes.
 
So, chess club was a bust. I don’t know if his decision was because I annoyed him with coaching or because he lost 2-1 games. There’s always a fine line between helping and hindering when trying to nurture interest in something for a child. And I never know where the line is until I’ve probably crossed it. Parenting is hard.
 
Bullgrit

This has been a weak start for Springtime. We’re what, three weeks into this spring, and it’s just now getting warm? This weekend it finally got to where I can comfortably wear short sleeves outside, so I wanted to start showing off some of my new t-shirt designs. Saturday morning, I chose to wear my Go ask your mother t-shirt.

***

Also on Saturday morning: Calfgrit6 was feeling bad. His throat hurt and he just looked pathetic. So I took him to the doctor’s office.

While sitting in the waiting room, a husband and wife sitting across from CG6 and I noticed my shirt. The wife said, “You’d like that shirt, wouldn’t you.”

The husband smiled and said, “Yeah, definitely.”

Then the nurse called my Calfgrit6 back to see the doc. They ran a test and diagnosed him with strep throat. The poor little guy had a reason for feeling bad. They gave us a prescription and sent us on our way.

As we walked through the waiting room on our way out of the office, a mom with a little girl noticed my shirt. “Oh, I love your shirt,” she said. “Thanks,” I said back to her as I herded my sick little boy through the doors.

Calfgrit6 and I then went to Target to get his prescription filled. While in the store waiting for the pharmacist to prepare the concoction, we wandered about in the toy section. I was high on showing off my shirt, but no one was even noticing me, much less my t-shirt. All the other shoppers were just going about their business, paying me no mind.

Then there was this one dad strolling slowly down an aisle with his young daughter. His little girl was oohing and aahing at the toys, and he was just kind of eye-wandering with a blank expression on his face. Calfgrit6 was looking at some Pokemon cards, and I was just standing next to him. I turned slightly to nonchalantly present my t-shirt to the approaching dad. Our eyes never met, but I did notice the dad’s gaze fall on my shirt. He saw the design, and smiled. Then he and his daughter passed us without a word spoken.

BAM! Four people noticed my shirt in just a short morning. And all had a positive reaction.

When we finished exploring the toy section of the store, we made our way back to the pharmacy. We picked up Calfgrit6’s medicine, and then left the store.

Back in my truck, with Calfgrit6 buckled in his seat behind me, I was just aglow from pride in my shirt. Yep, I thought, I’ve hit the target with this design.

Then, as we were driving out of the parking lot, I heard a sound from Calfgrit6. It’s a sound all parents know, and dread. Then he said, “Daddy, I just threw up.”

I pulled over into a parking area to help him. I grabbed various napkins and tissues, and opened his back door to clean him up. His hands and lap were covered in slimy yuck. Fortunately, he hadn’t eaten any breakfast. (His throat hurt too much.) But still, it’s nasty. I got him cleaned up enough that he could hold on till we got back home.

So ended my self-congratulatory high: with puking. At least he didn’t throw up on my new, cool shirt.

Bullgrit