Too Much Like Work

I’ve been writing this site for just over two years, now. In those 750+ days, I’ve made 968 posts, (not counting Twitter notes). That’s about 1.3 posts per day.

The writing has been fun for the most part; I thoroughly enjoy the craft. But keeping up the daily schedule has started wearing on me. It’s actually become a burden.

Sometimes I have something to say, and I want to write it. But sometimes I don’t really have anything on my mind to say, and so I spend a good deal of time trying to come up with something. I’ve sometimes even had stress over coming up with something. I shouldn’t feel stress over something I’m supposed to be doing purely for the fun of it.

And then there are times when I have an idea to write about, but the subject isn’t something that matches the general-public audience I think I’ve built up here. For instance, sometimes I have a thought on my games, or I have a political opinion, or I just want to explore writing a fictional situation. Usually I just squelch or ignore such writing urges because I feel they don’t fit with the site as it’s grown to be. I don’t have time to keep up the regular writing schedule for this site and also write other stuff on the side. (This site is already my “on the side” activity.)

I’ve taken to writing for my audience rather than writing for myself. Writing what I think will entertain my audience, rather than writing something that entertains me (and maybe no one else). Writing to one’s audience is a standard part of a normal writer’s job — but this site really isn’t my job. It’s a hobby.

This web site was originally a place for me to just get my creativity out and get my writing jones satisfied. But lately, it’s become too much like work, like a job, a grind.

Then last week, I mentioned my frustration to Cowgrit. She hugged me and told me she was sorry to hear it. So, the next night when I didn’t have anything particular to write about, I just decided to not worry about it. I just dropped it, and went and did something else. And that night was good.

Then I continued for a few nights just not worrying about trying to come up with something to write. This was a surprisingly large relief. It was like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders.

So, though I’m writing this post, consider me still on hiatus. I’m going to take another week for a break. But when I come back to writing for this site, I don’t think I’m going to bother with trying to maintain a regular (especially daily) schedule. I’ll post when I feel like it, when I actually have something I want to write. It may be an anecdote from my life (now or my younger days), it may be a geek-out that many of you won’t understand because you aren’t into the same geeky stuff I am, or it may even be something completely fictional. I may post a few times a week, once a week, once a month, I don’t know.

Thanks for reading Total Bullgrit through the past couple of years. It’s really cool to have an audience.

Bullgrit