Shoplifting

I was 21 years old, on my way home from out clubbing on a Saturday night. It was after 2:00 in the morning, and I was hungry for a snack, so I pulled into a Scotchman convenience store. I was tired from lots of dancing, so I probably looked strung out. And it was winter, so I had on a big coat.

When I entered the store, the girl, about my age, behind the counter was ringing up the only other customer. That customer left while I was picking out my snack and drink, and then I walked up to the counter and placed my choices in front of the clerk. She rang up my purchased and then paused a moment while I got out my wallet.

“Are you going to pay for those cigarettes?” she asked.

Being tired and hungry as I was, it took a moment for her unexpected words to register, and even then they just didn’t make sense — I don’t smoke. I looked back at the aisles I had walked down to see if I had passed a cigarette display, but I didn’t see any.

“I don’t have any cigarettes,” I said. I held my hands up and open to show I wasn’t holding anything.

“They’re under your coat,” she accused.

I chuckled, (I was giddy from exhaustion), and lifted my coat to show no cigarettes. The clerk shot me a dirty, “you’re a jackass” look, then gave up and took my money for my snack and drink. I smiled, took my purchase, and left the store. The parking lot was empty and quiet, the only movement was moths bumping around the high lights. I got into my car and backed out of the parking spot.

As I pulled out of the lot, a police car pulled into the lot from another way. Before I drove out of sight of the store, another cop car turned into the lot. Holy crap, did she call the cops? I thought. Neither car had its lights on, but that was just too much of a coincidence. And then, before I was a mile away, down the long straight road, another cop car passed me going fast towards the store. I slowed up so I could watch him in my rear view mirror, and sure enough, he turned into the store, also. Then I turned off that road onto the one that would take me home.

She had to have set off an alarm or something for the police to show up that quickly. I mean, it was no more than maybe two minutes between the moment she accused me to the time the first cop pulled up. It made me wonder just what did she see me do. I mean, you don’t accuse a customer and then set off an alarm based on a hunch that the customer shoplifted something. She had to see me take cigarettes. But I didn’t pick up anything other than the snack and drink that I paid for.

I considered whether I should go back to the store and talk with the police. But I feared they might cause me trouble for something, just because it’s late and the store clerk is apparently pissed at me. And what the hell were they expecting if three cops responded to the alarm?

I turned off that second road and into my apartment complex. When I got out of my car and closed the door, I saw blue flashing lights reflecting off the buildings and trees as a cop car in full flashing mode zoomed by. Good God, I thought, was that for me?

I went on up to my apartment and wondered if the clerk or a cop got my license plate number, and if I’d get a knock on my door that night. But nothing ever came of my close brush with hooliganism.

Bullgrit
bullgrit@totalbullgrit.com