This has been a weak start for Springtime. We’re what, three weeks into this spring, and it’s just now getting warm? This weekend it finally got to where I can comfortably wear short sleeves outside, so I wanted to start showing off some of my new t-shirt designs. Saturday morning, I chose to wear my Go ask your mother t-shirt.

***

Also on Saturday morning: Calfgrit6 was feeling bad. His throat hurt and he just looked pathetic. So I took him to the doctor’s office.

While sitting in the waiting room, a husband and wife sitting across from CG6 and I noticed my shirt. The wife said, “You’d like that shirt, wouldn’t you.”

The husband smiled and said, “Yeah, definitely.”

Then the nurse called my Calfgrit6 back to see the doc. They ran a test and diagnosed him with strep throat. The poor little guy had a reason for feeling bad. They gave us a prescription and sent us on our way.

As we walked through the waiting room on our way out of the office, a mom with a little girl noticed my shirt. “Oh, I love your shirt,” she said. “Thanks,” I said back to her as I herded my sick little boy through the doors.

Calfgrit6 and I then went to Target to get his prescription filled. While in the store waiting for the pharmacist to prepare the concoction, we wandered about in the toy section. I was high on showing off my shirt, but no one was even noticing me, much less my t-shirt. All the other shoppers were just going about their business, paying me no mind.

Then there was this one dad strolling slowly down an aisle with his young daughter. His little girl was oohing and aahing at the toys, and he was just kind of eye-wandering with a blank expression on his face. Calfgrit6 was looking at some Pokemon cards, and I was just standing next to him. I turned slightly to nonchalantly present my t-shirt to the approaching dad. Our eyes never met, but I did notice the dad’s gaze fall on my shirt. He saw the design, and smiled. Then he and his daughter passed us without a word spoken.

BAM! Four people noticed my shirt in just a short morning. And all had a positive reaction.

When we finished exploring the toy section of the store, we made our way back to the pharmacy. We picked up Calfgrit6’s medicine, and then left the store.

Back in my truck, with Calfgrit6 buckled in his seat behind me, I was just aglow from pride in my shirt. Yep, I thought, I’ve hit the target with this design.

Then, as we were driving out of the parking lot, I heard a sound from Calfgrit6. It’s a sound all parents know, and dread. Then he said, “Daddy, I just threw up.”

I pulled over into a parking area to help him. I grabbed various napkins and tissues, and opened his back door to clean him up. His hands and lap were covered in slimy yuck. Fortunately, he hadn’t eaten any breakfast. (His throat hurt too much.) But still, it’s nasty. I got him cleaned up enough that he could hold on till we got back home.

So ended my self-congratulatory high: with puking. At least he didn’t throw up on my new, cool shirt.

Bullgrit

I took the boys to an indoor bouncey play place a couple weeks ago when we had a cold weekend. It’s a pretty neat set up for wearing kids out. There are six or seven very large blowup play areas with some fun themes: a big sailing ship being attacked by a giant octopus, an over-sized Scooby Doo Mystery Machine, a “Jurassic Survivor” set, and a few non-themed areas. All were as big as a small house. The play sets looked so fun that I wanted to jump in and participate. But when I saw the warning label on the side of the set, I realized I shouldn’t join in the activity. I wouldn’t want to break any of the safety rules.

Click the image to see the larger version.

Bullgrit

Calfgrit10 lost a tooth last week. We had the usual excitement of it all, including talking about putting it under his pillow for the Tooth Fairy. Normally, we immediately put the tooth in a piece of tissue, folded up so it doesn’t get dropped and lost. This time, though, Calfgrit10 wanted to hold on to the tooth without it in a tissue. We weren’t sure why, but we let him keep up with it.

He kept it beside him as he played with his Lego toys. Come bedtime, he had lost it. (As expected.)

The next day, I looked around his room when he was out playing, and I found the tooth in the carpet among his Lego toys. I didn’t tell him I found it. I decided to let a life lesson play out. Throughout that day and the next, I kept checking to see if the tooth was still where I found it, and it stayed.

A couple days later, Calfgrit10 shouted, “I found my tooth!” I was at work, so he only told his mother. He also told her, “I’m not going to put it under my pillow.” This information was passed on to me.

Now, we know our boy. He’s got a critic’s skepticism and a scientist’s mind for experimentation. He has already started doubting Santa Clause, and the Tooth Fairy is a close relative. So I suspected he might secretly put the tooth under his pillow to see what happens when Mom and Dad don’t know it’s there.

That night, well after he’d had time to fall deeply asleep, I went into his room to check under his pillow. I took some quarters with me to replace the tooth if I found it. Usually, Calfgrit10 rolls off his pillow and sleeps on the side of his bed up against the wall. This time, though, he was sleeping on his back with his head right in the center of the pillow. I carefully felt under his pillow, all around where I could, but I didn’t find the tooth. It could be right under where his head was, but I couldn’t get under there without risking waking him up. So I left the room.

I thought maybe I should check around his room to see if the tooth was not under his pillow. I took my flashlight in with me and went back to look on his night stand, his dresser, his bookshelf, and on the floor. I didn’t see the tooth. That didn’t necessarily mean it was under his pillow, but there was still that big spot right under his head where I hadn’t felt. I reached under his pillow again and tried to very gently get my hand under the area under his head.

His eyes fluttered. I froze with my hand under his pillow. He rolled over away from me, towards the wall side of the bed. My fingers immediately felt the tooth.

He rolled back toward me and I barely got my hand out from under him before he pinned me down. I didn’t have the tooth.

He raised his hands above his head and stretched. I quietly stepped back away from his bed. His door was open, and the dim light from the hallway nightlight seemed glaring. I tried to stand in what little shadow there was in the room, but I felt like he would have to see me if he opened his eyes fully.

His stretching turned into arising. He kicked his covers off him and rolled out of bed. I stood just a couple of feet away, stock still and holding my breath. His feet touched the floor, and then he slowly walked past me and out his door. I could have reached over and touched him as he walked by. But he showed no sign of noticing me. He was either sleepwalking or I’m a freakin’ ninja.

He went to the hall bathroom. I stepped back to his bed and reached under his pillow. I grabbed the tooth, but I didn’t the quarters in my hand this time. (I had put them down to carry the flashlight.) While he was still in the bathroom, I snuck out of his bedroom.

I went to my bedroom to put away the tooth and get the quarters. With the quarters in hand, I stopped from leaving my bedroom. I heard Calfgrit10 flush the toilet. If I went now, we’d run into each other in the hall. And he’s probably more awake now than he was when he first got out of bed. I watched out the crack in my door. I watched him go back to his bedroom and get into bed. I waited.

I waited a good half hour for him to fall back to sleep. Then I left my bedroom, walked into his bedroom, and eyed him warily for any sign that he wasn’t fast asleep. When I was sure he was deep in dreamland, I tiptoed up to his bed, and slipped the quarters under his pillow about where the tooth had been. I smiled at my sneakiness, and then went to bed, myself.

The next day, he didn’t remember to check under his pillow until the afternoon. He showed his brother and then his mother the quarters the Tooth Fairy had left. When his mother commented that she thought he was not going to put it under his pillow, he admitted, “I said that to trick you.”

Three days later and he still hasn’t mentioned anything about it to me. As far as he knows I know, he lost his tooth.

He thinks he’s smart and slick, with his sneaky testing of the Tooth Fairy. But he just doesn’t understand how smart and slick and sneaky the Tooth Fairy and Santa Clause can be.

Unless, of course, he did see me in his room that night. But he gave absolutely no reaction to my presence, so I really don’t think he noticed me, or remembers noticing me.

Bullgrit

This t-shirt design puts into text, words I’ve heard so many times over the years. This is usually said to teenagers in the middle of some really dumb activity that’ll get them embarrassed, hurt, or arrested, (or all three).

Y’all act like you got some sense.

Bullgrit