For the previous couple of years, my birthday posts have been about my fitness quest. But this past birthday, my mind went to a more emotional place, and I wanted to write about the thoughts I was having. Now, though, for those who may be interested in knowing how the physical aspect of my middle-aged years is continuing, let me post this update.

This quest — to get super fit — started out as a mid-life crisis over three years ago. But since getting fit, I’ve continued the efforts because I really like it. And I say, “efforts,” plural, because this isn’t just exercising; it’s maintaining a good diet as well. Well, trying to maintain a good diet. The diet half of this whole thing has been the hardest overall. The workouts are hard, yes, very extreme, but they only require about an hour of my best effort 3-6 days a week. The diet, on the other hand, requires maximum attention every hour of every day.

I’m a stress eater. When I’m stressed out I want to eat. Plus, just in general, I love sweets, especially cake, cookies, and ice cream. And that means that when I’m stressed, my first instinct is to eat a dessert. I know this personality fault is the main problem for me to drop the last 3-5 pounds of fat down to my six-pack abs. I want the well-defined six-pack abs that underwear models have, but my diet weakness keeps me just short of that ultimate goal. (Also, male models are usually half my age.)

I started this quest in February of 2010, about three and a half years ago. At that time, I weighed 195 pounds. Not grossly obese, but definitely overweight for 5’11”. I didn’t really feel fat, but I did feel out of shape, soft. I mentioned to Wifegrit more than a few times that I just felt my body falling apart. I could feel myself getting older, weaker, even dying. I didn’t like that at all. Through my youth, teens, twenties, and early thirties I was thin. But once we brought the responsibility of kids into our life, my physical health started going down hill. All my attention was on my boys, to the dismissal of my own well being. I ended up gaining over 5 pounds a year.

So I ordered a video workout regimen I could follow in my home, and I resolved to get my shit together. The above photo was taken on my birthday this year. It looks identical to the one I took last year at the same time, (except that I’ve got a tan this year — I swear it’s sun-natural, even though it looks orange in that photo). I reached this shape, (150 pounds), after 9 months of effort, and I’ve maintained the same level since then. I still workout 3-6 times a week, and I count every calorie I put into my body. It’s truly hard to maintain, but I’m dedicated to this thing. I feel incredible, both in appearance and in healthfulness.

The picture on the left is me and my boys in June 2009, (four years ago). The picture on the right is me and my boys in March 2013, (four months ago).

2009: I had reached my heaviest weight ever, (almost 200 pounds). That picture embarrasses me, but I think I need to show it to really relate why I post about my fitness quest on this blog. That picture shows where I was physically when I decided to get back into shape. I would never have allowed a photo with my shirt off back then.

Now, though, I’m very healthy and fit. I’m strong [enough], with plenty of energy. The difference in how I feel from then to now is as major as how I look. This is important. I love exercise and working out, breathing heavy and sweating, cardio and weight lifting. This training put me in a good position for taking on a mud run this year. It has, in every aspect, made my life better.

But I have to admit, I still love afternoon naps on the couch, lying in bed on Sunday mornings, submersing myself in computer games, and vegging out on the internet, all for hours at a time. I still have stress, my kids still drive me nuts at times, and I’m so incredibly looking forward to the vacation next month for just me and Wifegrit, alone, at a resort on the beach. OK, so getting fit hasn’t magically cured all of life’s problems, but I can honestly say that living with the same ups and downs, enjoying the same joys and amusements, suffering the same frustrations and aggravations, I’m generally, overall better off experiencing everything with a healthy and fit body. Plus I’ll probably live five years longer than I would have if I hadn’t stopped my down hill trajectory.

My mind, though, probably needs some help.

Bullgrit

Over the past week or so I’ve been working on changing our TV, phone, and Internet service. So every day after I come home from work, I have had some kind of wiring, connecting, activating, setting up, or rearranging to do with all our electronic devices. I’ve spent about 6 hours on the phone mostly with customer service or technical support to get things organized. It’s been extremely frustrating and stressful.

Nothing is easy. Nothing is simple. Nothing just works. Every step of every process is complicated.

Thursday night was going to be the last of this work I had to do. I was going to install the new modem and router to the new Internet service. The night before, I went through all the cables and connectors to make sure I had everything I needed to complete the process. My home desk was covered in electronics and paper instructions.

It had been a long, stressful week of all this, but I hoped that finally I’d be done with it all. When I got home from work, I said hello to the family and then went straight up to my office to get into the cables and connectors and instructions. What greeted me on my desk was like a punch line in a television sitcom. My 12 year old son had left a note for me:

Really? I stood there looking down at the cube and note for a full minute or so.

Turns out it was no joke or gag. Little brother had played with the cube and unintentionally messed it up. Wifegrit suggested giving it to good ol’ Dad to fix.

Well, instead of getting upset, (which I was on the ragged edge of doing), I decided to take the situation as a chance to show off to my boys and look like a hero. After finishing the electronic hook ups, I sat down to work out the cube. I searched the web for the solution and followed the step-by-step directions. Once I solved the puzzle, I took it and the note downstairs to where the family was finishing dinner around the kitchen table, and placed the finished product in front of Calfgrit12.

I got a, “Thanks, Dad.” But that’s really about it.

Oh well. I know I’m awesome.

On my way home from work on Friday, I half expected there to be a box of Christmas lights for me to untangle.

Bullgrit

I mentioned back in May that I was experimenting with creating a Minecraft adventure for my boys to play through. Well, I finished the adventure map and the boys have played in it. I watched them play an hour at a time, Saturday and Sunday, over a few weeks. They didn’t actually finish the adventure, and I’ll have to explain why.

First, I found a world seed for a good wilderness area. I placed three villages, each a little different from the others. One is larger, (the main and starting area), and has lots of villagers and food and supplies. Another is smaller but has different food and a magic book shop. And the third is medium-sized with different supplies. I paved a road between two of the villages, but I left the other off the trail so it would have to be found by exploration. I also placed a few little “hermit houses” hidden in the area that could be found. The hermits sell various potions. Basically, I wanted the boys to be rewarded for exploring the environment, not just the dungeon.

I then created a large castle/tower in the center of the area, central to the villages.

The above-ground parts of the castle, right up to the top, I filled with tricks and traps to test the boys’ puzzle-solving and team-working skills. These puzzles can only be passed by two people working together. For instance, there are buttons that open secret areas or passages in another location — one person can push the button, but the secret door will close before he can run to the opening. There are traps that can only be escaped by someone else pulling a lever or standing on a plate in the floor. There are only a few monsters, (some zombies and spiders), in this part of the adventure, and none of the traps are by themselves deadly. I wanted them to learn how to work together well before going down into the dungeon proper and facing real dangers and troubles.

After successfully navigating through the upper part of the castle, they bought better equipment, (armor, weapons, food), and were excited to delve down below the castle into the dungeon. The below is three separate levels. The first level is 20-some rooms designed like living areas for the former castle staff and guard. There are many monsters and a few puzzles, traps, and tricks. They navigated this level pretty well, working together, but Calfgrit12 was showing his bossy side.

Calfgrit12 wanted to be the leader of their two-person team, and he often complained when his little brother didn’t do exactly as he was told. Now, Calfgrit8 never did anything bad or wrong. He just didn’t want to always be ordered about.

Even though there was some serious arguments here and there, they mostly played really well together. But a couple of times I had to end the adventure time because of serious arguments. I was surprised at how heated their arguments got. One boy would cry and the other would get angry. I was stunned. But then the next time I let them play, they’d laugh and shout in excitement, and afterwards tell me that was the best time they’ve had playing Minecraft. There were no mediocre times; it was all either fantastic or awful.

They eventually finished the first dungeon level under the castle, and then made their way down to the second level where more and tougher monsters and challenges awaited them. This level was bigger than the one above, and they’d separate often to go in their own directions. This going different ways caused them to get killed a few times. I tried to warn them that they needed to continue working together. Calfgrit8 would urge caution and want them to leave the dungeon to heal and re-equip more often. Calfgrit12 wanted to keep pressing forward, leaving CG8 to go back to safety on his own. This would inevitably cause CG12’s death, and he’d get angry at his little brother for not helping him.

This all started to get very frustrating for me. I didn’t want to guide them on this adventure — I wanted them to do this on their own while I watched. But I kept having to defend CG8’s decision to play safer against CG12’s push for more dangerous activity. He actually was playing the wisest, and his older brother was going a bit crazy with wanting to just go everywhere and see everything without caution.

Eventually CG12 got stuck in a trap off in some back chamber while his brother was leaving the dungeon to repair his equipment. Being stuck mad him angry, and he blamed CG8 for not being there to help him. He couldn’t do anything until CG8 came to rescue him, and CG8 told him to wait while he finished his errand back in the village. Things got pretty heated, and I had to break up the argument and end the game at that point.

Geez! Really. They’d go from laughing excitement one minute to hating each other the next minute. It was more than I could stand, and it made me hate this adventure I’d built for them. So I not only ended that game session, I told them that was the end of the adventure.

I was terribly disappointed in it all. It depressed me so much. I’d put a lot of work into that whole thing, and I was so excited to see them play through it. They’d had some really great fun at times, but the really bad moments killed the good feelings.

A few weeks passed with them just playing their normal Minecraft survival and creative games, and then Calfgrit8 came to me and asked about the adventure game. He asked if they could play it again, and if they couldn’t play it together, maybe he could play it without his big brother. Knowing that it was dangerous to explore the dungeon alone, he asked if I would play it with him. That touched my heart.

Later and separately I asked Caflgrit12 about it. He said it was too hard and he wasn’t interested in continuing the adventure.

So I may just end up finishing it with my 8 year old, the two of us. That could be cool.

Here are some screenshots from the dungeon delve:

Bullgrit

We ate home-grilled hamburgers out on our patio this afternoon.

Bullgrit