Pack Meeting

Calfgrit7 went to his first Cub Scouts Pack meeting, and we were all excited because he was to get his first badge — Bobcat. He was supposed to get the badge at last month’s meeting, but that meeting got canceled.

I had explained to Calfgrit7 how the badge ceremony would work: there’d be a lot of Scouts and parents in the big room, they’d call his name to go up in front of everyone, and I’d go with him up there, the pack master would say something, give him the badge, and then we’d sit down. I had been looking forward to this for several weeks, and I had assured him that I’d be with him when he went up.

There were no chairs in the meeting room (odd, that) so everyone either sat on the floor or stood against the back and side walls. Cowgrit and Calfgrit3 were with us, though we had gotten separated during the opening of the meeting. I was sitting on the floor about 10 feet behind Calfgrit7’s cub den, and Cowgrit and Calfgrit3 were sitting on the floor on the other side of the room.

Calfgrit3 didn’t want to just sit, and he wiggled and moved constantly with Cowgrit. Eventually he got up and crawled over to sit with me. That was fine, but he’d have to go back when they started the badge ceremonies. When the pack master started talking about the badges to be awarded, I knew it was time to transfer Calfgrit3 back to his momma. But Cowgrit was looking straight ahead at the pack master, and I couldn’t get her attention without making a scene in the middle of the room.

I stared intently at her, hoping to get her attention, but she wasn’t feeling my glare. Then Calfgrit3 said he had to go to the potty. Oh no.

“OK,” I said, “walk over to mommy and tell her you need to got to the restroom.”

“No,” he said, “you go with me.”

I knew the badge ceremony was about to happen, but Cowgrit still had not looked over at us. There was no way for me to pass Calfgrit3 off to Cowgrit without making a scene in the middle of the meeting. I was starting to get upset. I didn’t want to miss the ceremony. I’d been looking forward to it for weeks, and Calfgrit7 was expecting me to be with him, like I had promised. “I have to go pee-pee,” Calfgrit3 whispered.

I ended up taking Calfgrit3 to the restroom myself — Cowgrit never noticed us move out (we left through the back of the room). When the little guy and I returned to the room, Calfgrit7 and Cowgrit were standing up front receiving the Bobcat badge.

I won’t lie — I was mad and hurt. I felt really bad for not being there for Calfgrit7 like I had promised I would be. I could just imagine him looking behind himself when they called his name, looking for me to be getting up to go with him, and not finding me anywhere in the room. I felt terrible for not doing what I had promised. I felt like a very bad daddy. Dammit!

After the meeting, I apologized to Calfgrit7 for not being there for him like I said I would. He said it was alright, but I could tell he was disappointed, at least a little bit. Dammit. Nothing will make a man feel lower than knowing he let his son down. I felt like crap, and that feeling didn’t go away for a few days. It still upsets me off when I think about it, but at least now I can quickly shove it back to the back of my mind and not sit and stew on it.

Bullgrit
bullgrit@totalbullgrit.com