Father’s Day

Regular readers have probably noticed I haven’t been posting nearly as often as I used to. And when I have posted recently, it has usually been something short — sometimes just a picture. This slacking on my web site is partly because of new complications in our life, (like my mother-in-law having surgeries), and partly because I’ve wanted to spend more time with my family in general. My family is very important to me.

My boys, my sons, are my first duty in life. When I agreed to bring children into our life, I made a solemn promise that they would take precedence over all else. There was no official swearing in, or oath to recite. There was no sign or marker to show exactly when and where “things changed.” I can’t even point to a birth date on a calendar to identify where my responsibilities shifted from just the two of us to this little one or these little ones. I think the change actually happened before the first birth. Things just kind of “became.”

It seems that one day, you and the wife are out on a quiet, peaceful dinner, then the next day you’re walking out of the hospital holding a bundled, tiny, new life in your arms. A new life that completely, totally relies on you for absolutely everything. Regarding raising children, my family and friends have heard me make this observation a few times: the years go by so fast, but the days are so long.

Kids can try your patience every day, all day. Every hour, every minute. But it seems like every time your blink, they reach a new stage in their life. After bringing them home from the hospital, the next thing you know is they’re walking, talking, going to school. They advance in grades. They join a soccer team, start playing an instrument. They stop holding your hand, they start having interesting conversations. They graduate. They move off on their own. And slowly, over all that time, stop relying on you for absolutely everything.

I’m not to that point with my boys. They still rely on us for everything. They have other people in their world now, new and close friends, but we, their mother and father, are still the base and foundation of their world. The unspoken promise we made sometime before or after they were born is still sacred and strong. I would give up anything and everything for the well being of my children. I’d give up my own life and happiness to protect and ensure their well being. The sacrifices that parents make for their children are more than just sleep and money, time and sanity. It’s impossible to describe or enumerate what a parent gives and gives up for their children, (like it’s impossible to describe “love”), but it’s no less real and tangible to the parents and to the children.

On this Father’s Day, tell your parents — both father and mother, and other — that you appreciate all they’ve done for you. I’ve lost both my fathers, but I still have my mother, and I hope she knows I now understand what she has done for me and my brother. I understand the love and care and sacrifices and gifts she has given for her children.

My boys mean the world to me. Being their father is the greatest gift, the greatest responsibility, the greatest love, the greatest sacrifice, the greatest adventure I have ever undertaken.

The above photo is from the first day of school last June — 2nd grade and 6th grade. They’re tracked out, (year-round schedule), right now, so we’ll get a new pic for this year in a couple of weeks.

Wifegrit called me at my office Friday to ask me to run an errand on my way home from work.

“I’ve been so busy with the boys tracked out the past couple of weeks,” she said, “that I haven’t been able to get to the store over there.”

“What do you need me to do?” I asked.

“I need you to pick up your Father’s Day gift.”

We both burst out laughing.

“Seriously?” I said.

“Yeah,” she answered, sheepishly. “I’ve researched it, and the only place it’s in stock is over there. I just can’t get out that way. And since I work this weekend, I won’t have a chance before Sunday.” [She is a maternity nurse every other weekend.]

She told me what the gift was — something I’d been talking about wanting for several days, ever since she mentioned seeing one on Pinterest.

“OK,” I said, “I’ll get it.” And I did.

When I got home afterward, she was out on the front porch when I drove into the driveway. I stopped in the driveway, rolled down my window, and casually dangled the bag out the window while looking off the other way at something. She hustled up to me, quickly snatched the bag and ran inside with it. Then I pulled on into the garage. I’m looking forward to the gift. Maybe I’ll post a review of it later.

Bullgrit