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Cussing Like a Sailor

I’m sure it breaks my momma’s heart to think that her sweet, eldest son cusses. But I do. Not in front of my children, where I mumble incoherently under my breath, or I use non-sense syllables like Joe Pesci in Home Alone. And usually not on this blog, where I type slower than I talk and so can pre-emptively edit what I say.

But with my friends, when relaxed, I cuss fluently. Now, I don’t just let vulgarities fly for the h— of it, or just for s—- and giggles. I don’t throw the f-bomb around intentionally. The words just kind of roll off my tongue.

I think I cuss more than my gaming buddies. Maybe I cuss more on game nights with my friends because I have to hold it in all the other days and nights of the week. None of the other guys have children, so they can probably get their Fs and Ps and MFGDSOBPs out of their systems.

But me, I’m cramping from holding in all my MGFULDPSs all week. They have to come out when they can or I might get clogged up. And I definitely don’t want to get my A all clogged up with S because the GD words F up my A and E with I, O, U and sometimes Y.


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