In 1998, my dad was diagnosed with colon cancer. A couple of surgeries “cured” him for a few years, but then more cancer was found in another organ. He had another very major surgery to “cure” that.
Then more cancer was found in other organs. This time, he was given 6-18 months to live. Chemo and radiation treatments seemed to be holding off his end, but the poisons were playing hell with his body. A little over 12 months into his 6-18 months, he had another surgery, this year, to remove tumors.
The surgery itself went fine, and he was recovering well in the hospital for a week. Then, on the day the doctors said he would be going home, something went horribly wrong. A very bad infection kept him in the hospital for two more months. During this time, (this summer), he was near death at least three times. He spent a total of three weeks in intensive care barely clinging to life.
When he was at last released from the hospital, a couple months ago, he was physically just a shell of the man he used to be. He couldn’t walk, get up, or hardly do anything for himself. Physical therapy was helping to bring him back to mobility, but it was slow going.
Over the past couple of weeks he was starting to walk a bit. He was able to get about the house, and everyone could see he was at least showing he might actually fully recover from his ordeal. He had a doctor’s appointment last week to go over some scans and x-rays the docs had taken recently, and he walked into and out of the doctor’s office.
Unfortunately, the scans and x-rays showed a lot of tumors in his body. Lots of tumors. There would be no chemo or radiation or surgeries to “cure” these. He was in the closing chapter of his life. The only unknown was how long this chapter would be.
My family and I planned to go up to visit him this weekend. We expected a day of hanging out with him; to let his grandchildren see him and play around him, maybe one last time. But Saturday morning, when we were only about half an hour from arriving, his sister, my aunt, (who has been helping his wife care for him), called me and said things were turning very bad that morning. We dropped our boys off with my mother — this would not be a day for them to see their granddaddy — and rushed over to my dad’s house.
When we arrived, my dad was lying in bed, “awake” only by having his eyes open. He was barely aware of his surroundings and the people around him. His body was failing. His hospice nurse — assigned to him only a couple days before — came over and assessed the situation.
It was explained to us, in detail and clearly: the cancer is killing him, now. He may die in the next hour, or he might manage to last up to a week. There are no more odds of survival, no more life saving or life extending actions or medications to take. He is at his end, definitely.
I love my game books. Especially my old game books. Not only are they great games, but many also have some great fiction as part of the game setup. Plus I and my friends of the times created our own great stories by using these books and playing the games.
Take the below book, for example. The 3025 Technical Readout for the Battletech game is one of the best game books I have ever owned. Hell, it’s one of the best books of any kind I’ve ever owned. It is, of course, first and foremost a collection of game rules for playing Battletech, but literally half the text is pure fiction short-short stories about the world(s), technology, and people of the game universe.
I’ve used and read this book so much in the 25 years I’ve owned it, that the spine has broken, and the pages are falling out. This is the very illustration of a “well loved” book. Even though it’s falling apart, I manage to keep it together, and at least moderately protected.
Another great game book that I’ve treasured for many years, is Shadowrun.
This book is almost 20 years old, and it has stood the test of playing and rereading all through those years. I still so love reading the game mechanics and the world fiction in the book. In fact, I just recently had it out on the nightstand beside my bed so I could read it in the evenings while lying in bed.
It’s a thrill to read, and it’s fun to remember back to all the exciting adventures I and my friends created for and with this game. And like the above Battletech book, and in fact, most of my game books, it is old and very, truly dear to me.
So imagine my feelings when I came home the other day and learned about this:
Trooper the dog found it, pulled it down off the table, and ate on it at his leisure.
This dog chewed the corner of my home office desk when it was still just weeks new. Now he’s chewed up an old, sentimental book.
The local SPCA phone number is 772-2326. I’m just sayin’.
Our littlest calf turned 6 years old on Friday. Our baby is six! He’s in kindergarten, and he has a first loose tooth. The years go by so fast. (Regarding the loose tooth, coincidentally, Calfgrit9 also has a loose tooth.)
Strangely, Calfgrit6 didn’t want a birthday party. He just wanted a family dinner, including the grandparents. And gifts, of course.
On Friday, the date of his birthday, his mom took a chocolate chip cookie cake to his school for him and his classmates. That evening we let him choose what restaurant he wanted to eat at. We figured it would be either Ci Ci’s pizza buffet, Moe’s southwest grill, or Golden Corral buffet; his consistent favorites. But he chose Outback steak house. “Their macaroni and cheese is my favorite,” he said. Wow. That choice totally surprised us. We go to Outback once, maybe twice a year, (usually on *my* birthday).
The next day, Saturday, his grandparents came up to visit. We all went and watched his afternoon soccer game, and then we again let him choose were to go for dinner. And again he chose Outback. “Their macaroni and cheese is my favorite,” he restated. Wow, again.
I was excited. I was accused of paying him to pick Outback, but I swear I didn’t even so much as drop a hint.
A couple of days before his birthday, when we were trying to plan the days, he made the very mature decision to open his gifts after his soccer game. “I might get too excited by my new toys, and won’t be able to pay attention to playing soccer if I open them before my game.” He’s a smart little boy.
But on Saturday, when grandparents showed up with gifts, he couldn’t stand the anticipation. So, he wanted and we allowed him to go ahead and open his presents before his soccer game. To his credit, he managed just fine getting ready, going, and playing soccer that afternoon.
In so many ways, he’s showing some maturity — he’s becoming a big boy. And in so many ways, he’s showing how he’s really still a child. A sweet, lovable little child. A boy who loves Lego, horses, running and playing in the yard, and saying the word “fart” at every opportunity.
I was back at the mall yesterday, and I made a point to walk by the Energy Armor kiosk again. This time there was a young gal and one young guy standing duty. The girl made eye contact with me and sized me up as interested.
She greeted me and asked if I was interested in increasing my energy and balance. I bit, and she went into the spiel.
“This,” she said, holding up the wrist band, “is full of negative ions. When you wear it, the negative ions in your body join with the ones in the band and produce positive ions. The result is more physical energy, better balance, and increased strength.”
I was stunned. I mean, anyone who passed high school science knows that claim about ions is not just wrong, it’s pure gibberish. When I later repeated the description to someone else, they exclaimed, “Oh my God, they actually said that?”
It’s like if I said placing a negatively charged magnet on your car attracts the negative charges in the frame and gives the vehicle better gas mileage. It misuses the terms of science and gives a completely nonsensical explanation.
Anyway, back to the snake oil: The girl asked me if I wanted to take a demonstration. I agreed.
She had me stand on one leg, with my arms outstretched to my sides. She used two fingers and pressed down on my arm, (same side as my held-up leg), and within a couple of seconds I started to topple. She then gave me the wrist band to hold, and we tried the test again. My balance held stronger this time, and failed only when she gave a lot more effort.
Something was odd about the demonstration, but I couldn’t put my finger on it. The demonstration did seem to support the idea that the band gave me more balance, but something seemed amiss. I had made sure to note the details of the demonstration: where she pushed down on my arm, (same place both times), which hand held the band, how much she pushed on me, and what her positioning was. Everything seemed straight up, but there was something nagging at the back of my mind.
I’m not a person who’s really comfortable with interacting with strangers. (I’m terrible with small talk at parties.) So I thought I should probably watch a demonstration from the sidelines.
The girl tried to draw me into a sale, but I said I had to be moving on. I thanked her, and then walked off. I went up the nearby escalator, to the second floor of the mall, and walked back to stand over the kiosk. It was watching as a non-participant that revealed the tricks.
I watched seven or eight people go through the demonstrations with the girl and guy. Another test they showed was to stand with feet together, point an arm out to the side, and then turn backward, twisting at the waist. A salesperson or a friend then marked in the air how far the test subject could turn and point. Then they did the test again while wearing the band. Of course, they could twist farther the second time.
Here are the tricks:
First of all, the salespeople always did the test first without the band. Then they did the test with the band. Never with the band first. Here’s the thing about this: you will always do better the second time you perform a physical test like this. Try it yourself.
The first time you stand on one foot, you’re easy to topple. The second time, you and your body know what’s coming and so better balance for it. The first time you twist, your body is tight. The second time, you are slightly loosened up (from the first stretch) and so can reach farther. Again, try this for yourself.
And to top it off, none of the customers/test subjects tried the test a third or fourth time, with or without the band, and of course the salespeople didn’t suggest trying it. Trying it again, especially without the band, would have ruined the illusion — the customer would do just as well, or better, a third time even without the band.
Watching also showed me why my test seemed amiss. I watched the girl do the test to other people and I noticed how she really played up her effort on the second push. That’s when it struck me: she didn’t really push harder to topple me the second time, she just leaned her body into a posture that visually suggested more effort on her part. Watching her do it to someone else and thinking about how it felt to me, I realized the “something amiss” was that the pressure she applied to my arm the second time didn’t actually feel any stronger, it just looked like she was trying harder. It was the incongruity between what my arm was feeling and what my eyes were seeing that nagged at my brain.
So basically, the demonstrations are just stage magic acts.
While looking for information about this bracelet online, I discovered another brand: iRenew. Here’s the TV commercial for this other brand:
Now, this company uses different demonstrations — pulling down on the people’s arm to topple them. Without the bracelet, the customer falls over, but with the bracelet, they hold firm. But if you look carefully, you can see exactly and easily how they pull off the stage magic.
When they pull on the subject’s arm, (when without the bracelet), they pull not just down, but slightly away — away from the sucker’s center of gravity. When they pull on the subjects arm the second time, (when with the bracelet), they pull straight down and close to the person’s body — on/into their center of gravity.
Note how far away from her leg he pulls in the “Before” image, and how close to her leg he pulls in the “iRenew” image:
Try this yourself. It’s easy to do it.
You know, I enjoy watching stage and street “magic” as much as anyone. And even though we usually can’t figure out exactly how the magician pulls off his illusions, we all know he’s not actually reaching through loopholes in the fabric of space and physics — it’s all tricks. And most of us are willing to pay an entertainer to entertain us with these tricks. So maybe it shouldn’t bother me that some illusionists take the concept to another level and use the same stage tricks to sell completely bogus products.
Categories: 
