I already mentioned that a thunderstorm knocked out our cable Internet connection last Wednesday night. All of our hardware — computer, modem, router, etc. — seemed to be working fine. Even our normal cable TV was working.

When the connection wasn’t back up by Thursday morning, Cowgrit started calling the cable company. The automated system kept hanging up on her, so she asked me to give it a try. I got the automated system, too, which of course couldn’t solve our problem. When the system tried to transfer my call to a live tech, the line disconnected. We tried several times to get through, past the automated system, but every time, we were disconnected. We even tried calling the local, physical office, but still just got the same automated system.

That afternoon, Cowgrit went to the cable office. The woman at the front desk said to bring in our cable modem for a replacement. When Cowgrit called me to tell me that, I said that wouldn’t solve our problem. Cowgrit had only told her that our Internet connection was down, and the woman hadn’t asked anything about the problem. She just said to get a new modem. Our modem showed all green, so I didn’t think the problem was our modem.

But Cowgrit wanted to try the replacement anyway. We were talking about it on the phone (I was at work), so I just made sure she knew which box on my desk was the cable modem. She knew, and she could unplug it and take it in.

When she called back a couple hours later, she said she had the new modem, but needed me to reconnect it all. She didn’t know which cables went where. No problem; I’d do it when I got home.

She mentioned that there was a line of customers at the cable office all there doing the same thing. Apparently the Internet outage was a problem for more than just our home. The people also had problem with their digital phones and digital TVs. That told me the problem was with the digital cable — the Internet connection is digital. Our normal cable TV was fine.

When I got home, she and the boys were out at swim lessons. I walked into our home office and nearly had an aneurism. There were cables and cords strung out all over the place. “Holy crap!” I said. I stood there staring at the mess of wires for a minute wondering just what the hell she had done to disconnect the cable modem. Not only were many more wires disconnected than needed to be, from equipment that has nothing to do with the modem, but the desk and book shelf were moved so things could be disconnected from the wall.

Cowgrit can insert a needle in a blood vein, connect and disconnect an I.V., and stanch blood loss from a severed artery, but don’t let her near your computer wires.

I set about reconnecting everything, including the new modem, and I pushed the furniture back into place. Finally, I repowered all the hardware. Still no Internet connection. Dammit. I knew it wasn’t the stupid modem.

Bullgrit
bullgrit@totalbullgrit.com

My mom is moving soon, and so is clearing out a lot of her old unnecessary stuff. Over the past couple of weeks she’s been getting things put out in her garage for a sale. The sale date came this weekend.

I drove up Friday night. I was going to arrive around 10:30, and I expected to just come in and go to bed. I knew garage sales start early, and I knew I’d probably have to wake up around 6:00 a.m. Well, when I arrived, my mom and some family and friends were still working, setting up the tables and items for sale. Arranging things, sticking price tags, etc. So I set to trying to help.

We all worked to past midnight, and we didn’t get to bed until about 1:00 a.m. We set our alarms for 5:00. After four hours of sleep, we all bounced up and out to do the final set up for the sale. At 6:00, the first shoppers arrived.

There was a lot of stuff for sell, and much of it was nice items including some big furniture. We had up to as many as 20 shoppers in the garage and drive way at one time. The people just kept coming and coming. I was amazed. People were buying things left and right, but it seemed like the tables and boxes were never clearing. It was a few hours into the sale before we could tell the sale stock was depleting.

By 1:00, the steam of shoppers had started slowing down. At 2:00, probably 80-90% of our stock was sold, and there were only 1-3 shoppers at any given moment. At this time we started clearing up, packing unsold stuff in boxes and bags to take to Goodwill. We still had a couple shoppers looking through the packed up bags and boxes in my mom’s business van at 2:30 — we ended up just giving some of the last stuff away. By 3:30, the “shop” was completely cleared and closed.

By 4:30, all friends and family (other than myself) had gone home, with lots of thanks. There were four or five furniture items that people had paid for and were coming back to pick up, and my mom and I waited, tiredly, for them to come by.

It was a long (early) and tiring day, but the garage sale was a big success. We got rid of a ton of stuff that we now didn’t have to move or pay someone to move — and we got people to pay us to get take the stuff. Garage sales are amazing.

Bullgrit
bullgrit@totalbullgrit.com

I’ve had to wear my eyeglasses more often lately. The motions of putting on and taking off the glasses are not bothersome. And looking in the mirror, I think the glasses look good on me, or I look good in glasses. (They make me look intelligent.) But I’m still having a mental problem with the concept that I need glasses.

Since I’m still relatively new to my new job/company — just six months into it — when I meet or talk with someone while wearing my glasses, I want to tell them, “I’m not a glasses wearer.” Having nothing on my face (but a mustache and goatee) is part of my self image. When I spot myself in a mirror with the glasses on, I stop and examine myself closely. It just isn’t me.

But now that I’m having to wear these things so often now, I need to go back to the optometrist for a prescription for “real” glasses, instead of these cheap over-the-counter things. And I have to make sure my appointment is at a time when Cowgrit can go with me because I need her to help me pick out the frames.

The only thing worse than having to come to grips with the idea that I really need to wear eyeglasses all the time is spending $300 on glasses that’ll make me look like a dork.

Bullgrit
bullgrit@totalbullgrit.com

The boys and I were at a burger joint together, having fun. I told Calfgrit7 that I learned a new knock-knock joke. “Do you want to hear it?” I asked.

“Yeah.”

“OK, you start it,” I said.

“Knock, knock,” he said.

“Who’s there?” I said, smiling big.

He paused for a moment and then got mad. He crossed his arms over his chest, pouted, and lowered his head to look at me through his eyebrows. He doesn’t like being made the target of jokes.

* * *

Later that night, sitting with Cowgrit because she wanted to show me some Disney World information for planning our vacation, I wanted to try again.

“I have a new knock-knock joke,” I said.

“That’s nice,” she said. “Now check this list of rides in the Magic Kingdom. . .”

Bullgrit
bullgrit@totalbullgrit.com