A few days before Christmas, I was out with Cowgrit and Calfgrit4. (Calfgrit7 was with a friend.) Cowgrit wanted to stop by a dollar store for something — I don’t remember what, maybe to look for stocking stuffers? — so we three went in.

My job was mostly to just entertain CG4 while Cowgrit looked around. But I spied something I couldn’t pass up: a whoopie cushion. For only a buck, I had to get it.

I distracted CG4 for a moment, and I grabbed the package. I held it around my back so he couldn’t see it. Then when my real intended target came back to us, I had to be more subtle and clever with my concealment. But Cowgrit’s not easy to fool.

I pretended to buy some candy while she took our littlest boy out of the store. She had noticed I was hiding something, but she thought I had picked up something for the boys’ Christmas. If only I was that thoughtful.

Once outside the store, Cowgrit wanted to see what I had bought. I tried not showing it to her, but my secrecy just made her curiosity even stronger. “Why won’t you show me what you got them?” she whispered.

We got back to our van, and while I was making sure CG4 was buckled in, Cowgrit took a peek in the dollar store plastic bag sitting on my driver seat. I discovered her investigation when I opened my door. “Well,” I moaned, “I just lost my first surprise victim.”

Cowgrit gave me that look that asks, “How old are you?” Then she laughed.

To be continued…

Bullgrit

Christmas Eve

7:30 p.m.
The boys have had their baths, have cleaned up all their toys from the den and their bedroom. They’re now decorating sugar cookies for Santa’s snack — icing with a wide variety of sprinkles.

7:50 p.m.
Cookies are done, and some are on a platter next to the Christmas tree (we forgot the milk!). The boys brush their teeth and use the potty one last time before bed. They then ask for a few minutes of “playing” World of Warcraft.

WoW has seasonal stuff going on right now, so they get to see the orc versions of Santa Claus and his elves. We do a quest to get “Great Father Winter” some gingerbread cookies and milk. Then we ride around on a reindeer (instead of my orc’s normal wolf).

8:05 p.m.
We’ve herded the boys into bed, but they can’t settle down — especially Calfgrit4.

8:10 p.m.
Calfgrit4 is still talking out loud.

8:15 p.m.
Geez, CG4, get quiet.

8:20 p.m.
CG4 is sitting on the potty. I doubt he’ll actually do anything.

8:25 p.m.
Nope, he just sat and sang. He’s back in bed now.

8:35 p.m.
All is quiet in the boys’ bedroom.

9:00 p.m.
We think they’re both asleep. Santa can come any time now.

Bullgrit

When I was in the shower, I noticed Cowgrit had a couple of new bottles of hair conditioner and shampoo. That’s not unusual, but these both had a big piece of black duct tape covering part of the labels.

Curious, I picked at he edge of the tape until I could peel it back enough to see what was under it. The label said, “Dumb Blonde.” I pressed the tape back into place, and took my shower.

Later, I asked her about the tape on the bottles.

“It’s so Calfgrit7 doesn’t see it and ask about it,” she explained.

Yeah, I can understand that precaution. That boy is reading everything, everywhere.

I didn’t think to ask her at that time, but now that it’s come to my mind, I have to ask Cowgrit why she has “Dumb Blonde” hair care products. She’s neither dumb nor blonde (not even fake blonde).

Bullgrit

I’ve mentioned how kids ask difficult or strange questions — here and here. Yes, answering kids’ questions can sometimes be rather complicated. And then there’re things that aren’t really questions, but that require a response of some kind. Take this complaint, for example:

Calfgrit7 came to me, clearly frustrated. “Calfgrit4 tried to interrupt me when I was trying to tell him something.”

I stood there for a few moments, “Um, uh,” trying to think of what to say or do. First off, CG4 “tried” to interrupt him? He didn’t succeed?

OK, well, it’s rude to interrupt, but CG4 doesn’t have to sit there and listen to anything CG7 wants to say. And I know CG7 well enough to know that he was probably just telling his little brother how he should be playing. CG4 is quite capable of deciding for himself how he wants to play, and he sometimes gets perturbed at his big brother ordering him around.

After stammering for some seconds, I just said, “Y’all just play nice.” CG7 obviously wasn’t satisfied with my response, but he turned around and went back to his toys.

How should a parent respond to that complaint?

Bullgrit