April Fool

Okay, so my September 30 post was a joke. I was feeling a little silly at the time I was writing it, and the concept just kind of flowed from the moment. I gave hints:

“the first Sunday in April”
“one day shy of half a year later”
“six months and one day”

I assumed anyone who was interested would look up the date for my references, and would realize April 1 meant joke. Well, you know what happens when you assume: You make an “ass” out of “u” and “me.”

So, I’ll try to stick to the true anecdotes from now on. Whenever I do a joke post or a fiction post, I’ll identify it as such. Except for actual April Fool’s day; if someone falls for the joke on that day, I won’t apologize.

Anyway, so let me tell you what I did as an April Fool prank this year:

I stopped by a bagel place on the way in to the office. I picked up two pumpernickel bagels—they’re dark brown. At the office, I broke both bagels in two, and arranged them so they looked like . . . a big “dropping.” I took one into the men’s restroom and placed it next to a stall, in a slightly shadowed spot. It looked perfectly like someone did “you know what” on the floor.

I had to get a trustworthy accomplice for the second bagel. I asked a female friend to check out the ladies’ restroom. When she told me it was empty, I hurried in and set the second bagel in a similar place as in the men’s room.

The hard thing about this prank is that it takes a while to learn of any effects it might have had. I usually prefer immediate gratification, but I had to act like an adult and have patience for this scenario. (Yes, that’s intentional irony — “act like an adult.”)

It took an hour or two before I heard anyone commenting on the “mess” left in the restroom, but soon it was the quiet talk of the office. The setup in the men’s room got removed within two hours, and I have no idea how. Did one of my coworkers “deal” with it, or did someone call a housekeeper? The setup in the ladies’ room lasted a little longer, but then someone kicked it and revealed it to be a bagel.

I was loving the talk around the office, and it took all my willpower to not burst out laughing instead of showing a face of shock and disgust when someone mentioned it. Unfortunately, and ironically, I busted myself in a completely unexpected way.

My accomplice and I had been in an instant messenger chat off and on during the morning, and one time when I intended to let her know the latest news on the prank that I had heard, I accidentally opened a chat to the wrong woman. The wrong woman figured out the secret from my misdirected message, and came to me to talk about it.

Fortunately, she has a sense of humor, and was fine with the prank, so she just laughed. Eventually a few other people learned who was the culprit, but by that time, everyone had figured out that the “mess” was actually just a bagel. So everyone accepted it as good, light fun.

Bullgrit
bullgrit@totalbullgrit.com