Smokey and the Idiot

The whole family was loaded in the mini van on our way to Calfgrit7’s soccer practice. I was driving, Cowgrit was in the passenger seat, and the boys were in their seats behind us. We had just run an errand for me, so we were traveling in a part of town we don’t usually drive through. The rush hour traffic on the two-lane-plus-turning-lane road was much more than we expected. We slowly rolled along with the long line of cars, through a couple traffic lights and around a turn.

At last, up ahead we saw the intersection where we needed to turn left to go on to the soccer park. We were still probably a quarter mile from the lights, but we were in a long line of barely moving traffic. The traffic in the other lane, going the opposite direction, was light. The center turning lane was vacant. No one was in the lane all the way from where we were in the line to the traffic lights far up ahead.

Cowgrit and I were talking about the amazing traffic as we slowly inched along, and when we got under probably 200 yards away from the intersection, I saw a shopping center on the left, about half the distance to the intersection. Seeing a CVS drug store, I remembered there was something we needed to get at a drug store, and I thought, after a quick stop, we could drive out the other side of the parking lot and get on the road we needed to be on without waiting longer in this traffic.

Cowgrit suggested we could just pull into the turning lane and go on up. I thought that an okay idea, and I pulled into the center lane and started on up.

We’d only just got into the lane and started going, not fast, when we saw a city police car sitting on the left side of the road. Oh crap, I thought. Cowgrit made some gasp as she saw him, too. I knew I had pulled into the center lane far too soon for the shopping center, so I could be busted.

But really, in my defense, the center turning lane was completely open, and everyone in the long line was turning right or going straight. We could see the left turn lane all the way up to the intersection, completely empty of cars. I didn’t pull out and fly or anything — I was being careful and slow. But just as really, I had done a wrong thing. A dumb thing.

I went ahead on up, turn into the shopping center parking lot, and  drove to the front of the CVS drug store. The short whoop! from the police car siren startled me, as I hadn’t noticed the cop actually come after me. He was right on my bumper. Crap, crap, crap. Crap on a stick. I had been just too impatient, and thought I could “cut a corner”, so to speak.

The cop got out of his car, and I put down my window. When he approached my door, he didn’t say what I expected to hear. He didn’t say, “Let me see your driver’s license and registration.”

He said, “Do you realize you just crossed over a double yellow line into a one-way turning lane?”

“Double line?” I asked, honestly surprised. “A one-way turning lane?”  I thought the center lane was just a normal turning lane for both directions of traffic. “No, I’m sorry. I didn’t see a double line.”

The boys in the back seats were absolutely quiet. Our mini van has never been so quiet with the whole family in it. Calfgrit7 was worried that his daddy was in big trouble, and Calfgrit3 was just confused as to what was going on.

“Are you familiar with this area?” the officer asked.

“I’m familiar with the area,” I said, “but we live further down the parkway, and I’m not familiar with this road.” I was being truthful.

The officer and I talked for a couple minutes, and he was nice. He also mentioned the early pull into the center lane, but he seemed most pointed about the double line and one-way lane. He had me by the short hairs, and could have been smug and prickish in front of my family. But he wasn’t, and for that, he, whoever he is, deserves my thanks.

I was very nervous, embarrassed, and trying to keep a straight face and be honest without saying anything that might get me in more trouble. Being pulled over by the police is a terrible feeling. You just feel helpless and nervous. Especially when you know you did wrong and even did it willingly.

“You’re going to the CVS?” he asked.

“Yes,” I answered.

He ducked his head to look around inside the van, noting the wife and two kids. “Are you in a hurry for something?”

“No,” I answered. “Just need to pick up something, but not medicine or anything important.”

“Okay. I’m going to let you choose how we handle this,” he began. “I can let you drive back out the way you came in, go down the road, turn around and drive back this way. I want you to pay attention and notice the yellow lines and the turning arrows on the road. Also notice the skid marks from all the accidents we’ve had to clean up after from people pulling out into that turning lane too soon and against traffic.

“Or I can write you a ticket that will cost one hundred seventy-five dollars, and put four points on your license.”

Cowgrit spoke up, “We’ll take the drive.”

I nodded. “Yeah, I’ll drive back and pay attention.” He was going easy on me financially (four points would be terrible for my insurance — I haven’t had a ticket since I was about 20), but he was making sure to lay the explanation on thick.

I thanked him, and he went back to his cruiser. He followed me out of the parking lot and then let me go. I did as instructed and went back down the next intersection, turned around, and came back.

We paid close attention to the road markings. Actually, where I had pulled into the center lane was not a double yellow line and was not a one-way turning area. But between that point and the shopping center entrance was such a spot, about 20 yards long. So I hadn’t actually missed the double line when I pulled into the center lane, and I couldn’t see the double line ahead until I got closer (at which point it was too late, having already started). But if I had just stayed in the long line of traffic until a more responsible distance from the shopping center, I wouldn’t have gone through the illegal spot.

So I felt better that I hadn’t actually crossed a double line, but I was still very wrong for pulling out so soon. I couldn’t fault the officer for pulling me, and I couldn’t defend my stupidity.

And to add an interesting end to this story, before we reached a “reasonable distance” from the shopping center to pull in, we passed the cop with his lights on, having stopped another driver. This time, though, the cop stopped him on the road, right in the center lane. The driver had apparently done the exact same thing I had done — pulled into the center lane too soon and drove through the double line and one-way turn area. This new guy was alone, in a little sports car.

I bet he got a ticket. He didn’t have the sad and worried faces of a family to move a cop’s heart to forgiveness.

Bullgrit
bullgrit@totalbullgrit.com