Saving Souls in the Walmart Parking Lot

I had to go to Walmart to pick up some stuff. I took my two-and-a-half year old with me. We had to park pretty far out in the parking lot, and as we were walking toward the store, a clean-cut young man approached us with a fist full of pamphlets.

I knew what he was coming to say, and as soon as the young man got close enough to start his spiel, “Hi, I’m a professional . . .” I waved him off with, “No thank you.”

He nodded politely and moved on. But I caught a glimpse of the pamphlet he was carrying. It looked like it had a pretty cool, color illustration—something with swords and armor and horses.

Did he say he was a “professional” something? By the time that term struck me, he and we were too far apart to change my mind. Damn. That illustration on his pamplet, and his use of the term “professional” got me intrigued.

Anyway, we went on in the store, bought what we needed, and headed back out. Just outside the exit door, I saw the young man sitting on a bench holding his pamphlets. He looked tired, hot, and maybe a little dejected. I stopped and asked him if he was the guy that approached me in the parking lot. He confirmed he was, and pulled out one of the pamphlets.

“This is important information about Revelations that you can read.”

I took the pamphlet, thanked him, and then moved on with my son. I didn’t get a chance to look at the pamphlet until I got home.

The image is pretty cool. A sky scene, with a big moon in the center background, and four horsemen on flying horses (without wings). One horseman, on a white horse, wearing silver and gold armor, pulling taunt a mighty bow, is a white-haired king (with crown). This is presumedly, God. The other three horsemen are obviously evil—probably War on his red horse, Death on his pale horse, and . . . who is this guy on the black horse? He carries a set of balance scales (Death has his scythe, War has his bloody sword). I guess I need to read the text on the reverse side. (I was going to read the text anyway.)

Well, apparently, the rider on the black horse, with the scales in his hands, is Capitalism. I kid you not.

I didn’t expect that. I had always thought the four Horsemen of the Apocalypse were War, Death, Famine, and Pestilence. According to this pamphlet, famine is part of Capitalism, and pestilence is part of Death. And one Horseman is actually a good guy: God (Jesus). Hmm. I’ll have to research this story further.

I’ll keep this illustration; it really is cool. But I never found out what the evangelist meant by “professional”. Professional what?

Bullgrit
bullgrit@totalbullgrit.com