Pizza Buffet

I took the boys to the pizza buffet again. I didn’t feel like cooking or cleaning, and they didn’t feel like waiting. We had unfortunate timing arriving at the restaurant; we came in right behind a family of 12.

It took the family of 12 over five minutes to finish at the register and go to their table. I don’t know what their problem could possibly have been, I mean, it’s a buffet. There’s no food decisions to make at the register. All I could figure, from hearing snippets of the talk, was there was confusion about who was paying for what, in what way. The clerk even had to call the manager over to do something on the register.

When we finally made it to the register, it took us only 30 seconds, and that included having the clerk welcome us and give her and her manager’s names: Lakeisha and Mokeisha.

Something I’ve noticed at all buffets is how people pile and stack food on their plates. The plates at this restaurant will hold two slices of pizza, maybe three if they’re thin enough, without stacking. I saw several people stacking five, six, even seven slices of pizza on their plates. What the hell? Do they not understand the concept of a buffet — you can make more than one trip through.

Interestingly, it’s big and small people loading up their plates. When I see the skinny people load up on seven slices of pizza, I wonder just where they’re going to put it all. When I see the fat people load up on seven slices of pizza, well, I don’t really wonder at all.

There was one odd person in the restaurant. The place is not a high-end establishment, as you can guess by it being a pizza buffet. This one guy was dressed in what looked to be a tailored suit, but he was enormous. His neck was wider than his bald head, and his circumference was probably six feet. But he wasn’t eating anything. He was just sitting there, in his black pants, florescent purple shirt, and yellow tie (his coat was on his chair behind him), all alone, right beside the buffet line. He had no plate, no glass, nor anything else with him at the table. He was there for at least 20 minutes, alone and mostly still. Strange.

Bullgrit
bullgrit@totalbullgrit.com