I’ve seen these wrist bands and medallions that say, “WWJD” (What would Jesus do?) and “LIVESTRONG”. It’s a neat idea. Supposedly, every time the wearer sees it, they remember to “do right”. That’s great, if a simple reminder works for you.

Me, I need Jesus to slap me on the back of my head and say, “Shut up. Don’t be a fool.” Subtle reminders don’t work for me. My guardian angel doesn’t give me gentle nudges, he or she has to use a two-by-four, with a double-handed swing. And I probably require two hits to change course.

Bullgrit
bullgrit@totalbullgrit.com

I’m not really liking my new cell phone. My old phone was not a flip phone, so when I pulled it out of my pocket, the display and keypad were right there—I didn’t have to flip it open to see who was calling, what time it was, or to start dialing. The keypad numbers were all raised rubber buttons, so I could dial by feel, without having to even look at the phone.

My new phone must be flipped open to see the menu and to dial. It’s also slick, physically, so handling it with one hand is not easy. And the buttons are flat on the keypad, so I can’t feel them to dial without looking at it. It looks cool and all, but for handling, my old clunker was better.

The only feature I have come to like with my new phone is the ability to record sounds and use them as ring tones. I can have a different sound/ring for every contact in my phone book. So far, though, I’m only using one ring for all calls: my two young sons saying, “ring ring, ring ring.” It’s really cool, to me. It’s probably annoying to anyone else hearing it.

It took me half a dozen tries to get the boys to do it right. I explained what I was doing, showed them how I was going to do it, and even did a couple tests with them before actually recording anything.

I wanted them both to say “ring ring” together, but ended up going with the oldest saying it first followed by the youngest repeating it.

The first few tries to record the sound came out like this:

(Before comma is 6 year old, after comma is 2 year old.)

“ng ring, . . . . . . . . . . . ring ring.”

“ring ring, what is dat?”

“RING RING, hehehe WING WING.”

“Say it now?, say now?”

Child voice talent. How do directors work with them?

Bullgrit
bullgrit@totalbullgrit.com

I’m sitting here trying to think of something interesting to post about. (Interesting? I’ve never limited myself to writing about something interesting for past posts.) Hmm. What to write about?

How about something funny? But nothing particularly funny has happened.

How about exciting? Meh. Nothing exciting has happened.

So I’ve got nothing good to write about. Good? That’s it! If nothing good has happened, maybe something bad has happened.

Think. . . . Damn. Nothing bad has happened either.

I’ve got nothing to write about. Just nothing. Nothing at all. Not a thing. Zero, zilch, nada. Nil. (Did you know “nil” is the British term for zero? It is. And that’s what I’ve got to write about.)

With nothing interesting in this post, what am I going to do to keep you reading? I’ve got to do something, or you’ll leave this site and go read something else. Or go watch TV. Or actually get some work done (if you read this from your office).

I shouldn’t just waste your time with useless rambling. It’s a waste of my time writing useless rambling, too. But then again, most of my posts are useless ramblings, and you read them. And then some of you come back the next day to read more ramblings.

Is my rambling that entertaining, or is your time that free? I like to think my rambling is just that entertaining. My words just captivate your attention, and you just keep reading in amazement.

I have control of your eyes and mind right now. I’m saying nothing of interest, but you just keep reading this page. Keep reading. Keep reading. See?

You’re probably having to scroll down the page to keep reading this drivel, but you just can’t stop. You’re fascinated by my words. Entranced by my sentences. In awe of my linguistic abilities.

Or maybe you really are just totally bored. Or you’re grasping at any reason to not get to work on what you’re supposed to be doing right now. Or maybe you’re perversely curious about just how long I’ll continue to write nonsense junk.

Maybe I should stop with the silliness and write something at least vaguely interesting.

. . .

I got nothing.

Sorry.

Bullgrit
bullgrit@totalbullgrit.com

Last night we had pizza delivered for dinner. I called in the order, and in a moment of dietary weakness, I added some garlic breadsticks to the delivery. I’m kind of burned out on most pizza, but it’s been a while since I had garlic bread.

Once we had the boxes opened on our kitchen counter, I ignored the pizza. I plopped a few pieces of soft, hot, garlic breadsticks on my plate. Mmmmm. So delicious. They had so much butter in them my hands got greasy wet just holding them. There was so much garlic that I had to lick the flakes off my fingers after finishing every piece. I grabbed seconds before I even thought about it, and I savored every bite.

Just a few minutes after the meal, those breadsticks were weighing heavy on my stomach. I had eaten six pieces, which probably equaled about two and a half to three pieces of pizza by volume. But I think breadsticks swell as they sit in your stomach. It didn’t seem like that much going down, but boy, it’s a lot once they have time to settle.

They were absolutely wonderful, but they should never be eaten as a meal all by themselves. Maybe next time I’ll just lick the breadsticks.

Bullgrit
bullgrit@totalbullgrit.com