Most of the time, when you need a plumber, you need a plumber now. Our water heater leaking is one of those times. We can live without hot water for a few days, but with all the water damage in our house, from the leak, the repair guys needed the old water heater removed so they could repair the floor under it.

The first plumber I called was suggested by the repair guys. I called him…

“Hello,” he answered. I was expecting something more than this.

“Um,” I said, “Is this John Turner?”

“Yes,” he said.

“You do plumbing?”

“Yes.”

OK. This guy sounded put out by this call. I said, “I have a leaking water heater that I need to have replaced.”

“Well,” he said, “I’m on vacation right now.”

“Oh.” Oops. That explains the way he answered.

“I’m actually on my honeymoon.”

“Oh! I’m very sorry. I just called the number that was given me.”

“That’s OK.” And he gave me the office number for the company he works for.

Bullgrit
bullgrit@totalbullgrit.com

We noticed the linoleum in the boys’ bathroom was bubbling up all of a sudden. “That’s odd,” we said. I thought maybe the boys had spilled a lot of water out of the tub, but we hadn’t see any water on the floor. I knew I’d have to pull up the flooring and take a look under there.

The next day (today, as I write this; yesterday when you read this), we discovered water on the floor around the water heater in the laundry room. It wasn’t obvious, and I could only see it when I looked between the washing machine and dryer. All the evidence was, really, was a glistening reflection of the overhead light.

I pulled out the washing machine to get a closer look, and oh my God! There was a lot of water on the floor around the water heater. I crawled under the house with a flashlight and found standing water under the laundry room. Oh crap on a stick!

I called my home owners insurance company and a plumber. After a couple more phone calls, and less than two hours wait, I had repair guys here looking things over. The water heater would, of course, have to be replaced, and water had leaked into the boys’ bathroom and the edge of their bedroom — I saw the damage with my own eyes. The repair guys got to work immediately, tearing up the flooring and boards, and setting up fans.

The plumber will come tomorrow (today as you read this) to hopefully replace the water heater immediately. But the clean up and repairs and drying will take several days to finish.

Cowgrit took the boys over to her mother’s house, and they’ll stay there at least a couple of days. We won’t have hot water until the new heater is installed, and we’ll have a total mess in the house for a few days after that. We’re lucky that Cowgrit’s mom lives in the area, otherwise we’d be living in a hotel for a couple of days.

Man, what a headache this is.

Bullgrit
bullgrit@totalbullgrit.com

Cowgrit found a great Christmas gift for Calfgrit4: a set of eight PlayMobil rescue vehicles. We knew he’d love it, and it would be a great gift from Santa Clause because we can open the package and have all the vehicles spread out over the floor. Rather than one present, he’d see it as a bunch of stuff. We bought the set and have stored it in the trunk of my car for about two weeks.

Last night, after Cowgrit came back home from the grocery store, Calfgrit7 went outside to “help” her. He’s never shown any interest in helping bring in groceries before, and he just slipped out the door without saying anything to me (inside) or to Cowgrit (outside).

He essentially sneaked up on Cowgrit at the back of the car, where she was getting the groceries out of the trunk. Before she even realized he was standing there, he saw the big PlayMobil box in the trunk. Kids have a way of seeing the one thing you don’t want them to see — they can see through fog, blinding snow, and thin sheets of lead to see a hidden toy, but they can’t find their socks on the floor six inches behind them.

“Wow, what’s that?” he exclaimed.

Cowgrit sighed and went ahead and told him it was a present. She had to explain it was for Calfgrit4, and that upset CG7 — CG4 had just gotten a bunch of presents for his birthday.

When we were alone for a minute, Cowgrit told me what had happened. “Damn,” we both said. Although we can still give the present to CG4 for Christmas, it’ll have to be from us instead of Santa Claus. That was a perfect gift for Santa to leave, but now we have to find something else for that purpose.

It’s amazing how it can take a lot of looking to find a perfect present like that, and a lot of clever consideration to hide it, but it only takes a child two seconds to accidentally spot it and ruin the surprise.

Bullgrit
bullgrit@totalbullgrit.com

The family went to the Farmers’ Market Sunday to pick out pumpkins. In years past, we went to big pumpkin farms set up as little “theme parks.” But this year we’ve been more busy than normal, plus the whole family has been battling illness this week.

We picked out four pumpkins: one for carving into a jack o’ lantern, one to send to Calfgri7’s school, and two small ones that Calfgrit4 wants to decorate.

At the kitchen table, I set about carving the biggest pumpkin, and CG4 worked his stickers and markers magic on the small two. CG7 directed my artistry — he wanted something scary for the trick-or-treaters to see on Halloween.

It’s usually a lot of fun to carve a jack o’ lantern, but doing it only one time a year means my skills never really improve much. I use a marker to draw out a design on the pumpkin, but my knife work never exactly stays on the lines. I’ve never been able to do the fancy designs that I see win awards, but my boys have always loved the jack o’ lanterns we’ve put on our front porch.

This year’s looks very similar to ones I’ve done before. The stitches across the forehead is new — CG7’s idea. He calls it our “Franken lantern.”

Bullgrit
bullgrit@totalbullgrit.com