From the police blotter in my local newspaper, October 30, 2008:

A suspect was reported to have exited a house on Lost Tree Lane about 10 a.m. Oct. 18 with a beer in his hand and driving away in a maroon 2001 Ford. Credit cards that were in a wallet in the vehicle were later used at at least one area convenience store. A warrant has been issued.

^ Geez, how vague can this report be? No description of the “suspect” other than he had a beer in his hand? They tell the year model of the Ford, but not whether it’s even a car or truck? And what’s the guy a suspect for? Did they just issue a warrant for “a guy with a beer in his hand, driving a maroon 2001 Ford”?

Someone entered a garage on Strathorn Drive between 10 p.m. Oct. 16 and 6:45 a.m. Oct. 17. A bicycle valued at $6,100 and a case of beer were taken from the garage. An iPod was taken from a vehicle in the garage. Entry was apparently made through an unlocked side door.

^ Holy moly! A bicycle worth over six thousand bucks? I love that the thief took a case of beer with the bike. Can you imagine the guy trying to ride away with a case of beer under his arm?

An air-conditioning unit was taken from behind Sweet Traditions Bakery, 328 N. Harrison Ave., between 3 p.m. Oct. 21 and 3:30 p.m. Oct. 22.

^ What the hell? Who steals an air-conditioning unit?

Unfortunately for the thief, the unit will never cool properly, now — it’s hot. [Ow, yeah that’s a horrible joke. I’ll probably delete this whole line when I go back and proofread it later.]

Someone broke the front driver’s-side window of a vehicle at Modus Media, 501 Innovation Ave., between 6:30 p.m. Oct. 22 and 2:30 a.m. Oct. 23. A two-ton jack and loose change were taken.

^ OK, okay, think about this. Someone stole a two-ton jack and swiped up some loose change. Obsessive/compulsive?

I rarely read the local newspaper, and even when I do, I don’t think I’ve ever read the local police blotter. But after this time, I’m definitely going to check it out every chance I get in the future. This stuff is just damned entertaining.

Bullgrit

Calfgrit4 made a very cute Halloween card for me. It’s made of orange construction paper, and has various Halloween stickers scattered about the cover. On the back, he drew a spider web, and placed a spider sticker at the center.

Inside he wrote a sweet note. Or so I imagine. He asked Cowgrit how to spell “love,” so she spelled it out with the letters on our refrigerator door. You can see in the picture that he traced the “L”. The other three letters he apparently did freehand.

The rest of the note, we’re not sure about. At the bottom of the note, he signed his name (which I cut from the image, here). He was very proud when he presented it to me, and I cherish it.

When he wasn’t looking at me, I whispered to Cowgrit, “What’s it say?” She didn’t know.

So she handed the open card back to Calfgrit4 and said to him, “Tell Daddy what you wrote in the card.”

“I don’t know,” he said. “I can’t read.”

Bullgrit

Both our boys went as clone troopers (Star Wars) for Halloween this year. They picked out the costumes two or three weeks ago, and Calfgrit4 has worn his several times since then. To be precise, they were both Captain Rex of the clone troopers.

The difference between a clone trooper and a stormtrooper is subtle to those not familiar with Star Wars. At one point during our trick-or-treat outing, a family passed us in the street. The young boy (probably 7 years old) of the group was dressed as a stormtrooper. His parents commented on the Calvesgrit, “Hey, look, they’re stormtroopers, too.” The young boy corrected them, “No, they’re clone troopers.”

Since the past couple of weeks have been rather hectic, I didn’t plan for any costume or make-up for this year. But at the last minute before heading out for the neighborhood tour, I rummaged through my box-o’-masks and pulled out an old thing. I also pulled out the skeletal gloves that go with it.

We were quite a sight: two clone troopers escorting this skeletal ghoul. We were usually holding hands as we walked about. Calfgrit7 told many people, “That’s my dad,” as we moved about the families on the block.

At one point, we got in the van and drove to Calfgri7’s best friend’s neighborhood. On the way there and on the way back, I played from the passenger seat, leaning out the window and laughing maniacally at walkers in the street.

Some people laughed, some people screamed, and I had a load of fun. “I love doing this when I’m incognito,” I said to Cowgrit.

“Well, just remember that everyone can see who I am,” she replied.

Bullgrit