I was walking through the mall near my work, looking for a particular store, and I passed a kiosk with three fit he-men in black t-shirts standing around. (“Fit he-men” contrasts them from what I usually see working at mall kiosks: young females and skinny gay guys.) The kiosk was for something called “Energy Armor.” Interesting name and logo, but I was at that time pretty focused on getting my errand done, so I did no more than notice it.

Coincidentally, the store I was looking for turned out to be right above the Energy Armor kiosk, on the second level. When I walked out of the upstairs store, errand completed, I happen to look down over the railing and saw the three men, (two young, one my age), below with a customer. The customer, a young guy, had his arms outstretched to his sides, and he was hopping on one foot. Odd, that.

I gave the kiosk display a closer look. It had multiple images suggesting athleticism and fitness. The name, Energy Armor, made me think “exercise clothes,” but the packages filling the display didn’t look like any kind of clothing. I couldn’t tell what the product was from my upstairs distance.

I walked back to the escalator, rode it down, and as I approached the kiosk, to walk past, I decided to take a closer look at the product. The packages looked to hold watch bands. As I slowed my pace to take in the display, the older of the fit he-men in black t-shirts stepped toward me.

“Are you interested in Energy Armor,” he said, holding up a plastic wrist band. I noticed that he and the other two fit he-men in black t-shirts all wore one of these bands.

I stopped and turned to him. “What is it?” I asked. There was something just inconguent about the whole scene. Everything about the salesmen and kiosk display suggested health and fitness, but the product looks like a gelly band?

The salesman took my opening and stepped closer to me. “This is filled with a silicon-based gel designed to give you increased energy, balance, and strength.” He held up the gelly band, and pointed at the one he wore on his wrist.

He started to continue with an explanation of the “science” of the material, and I interrupted him.

“You just wear it?” I asked.

“Yes,” he answered with a smile. “You just wear it.”

“Hmm,” I said, “okay. Thanks.” I turned and started walking away.

He said, “Thank you,” and let me go.

A wrist band to increase energy, balance, and strength? Really? Someone is trying to sell that? In 21st century America.

I don’t know if they’re actually selling any of the gimmicks, so I can’t comment on how gullible the general public may be. But the owners of the company obviously have a high estimate on American gullibility. In this day and age of wide-spread information, not just at our fingertips, but actually thrust into our faces whether we look for it or not, I tend to presume that people have been forewarned about silly “snake oil”-type products.

I did a search on Google for Energy Armor and found no company or product information. I guess that makes sense if the company are grifters and the product is snake oil. Just like in the old days: into town, give false promises, sell product, move on before anyone gets angry. I wonder how long that kiosk will stay in the mall. I may have to go back and check in a week, just out of curiosity.

See this follow-up post for how the demonstration goes:
The New Snake Oil Demonstration

Bullgrit

Calfgrit5 started playing soccer a few weeks ago. His team has practice on Monday evenings, and games on Saturday afternoons. He was interested in trying the sport when we offered it to him several months ago — parents have to sign up their kids months in advance of the season — and he’s having fun with it now that he’s started practicing and playing.

Calfgrit9 played soccer when he was 4 and 5 years old, but he then lost interest in it. We got him on a t-ball team at 6 and 7 years old, but he lost interest in that, too. He now has no interest in any sport. (I’m not much of a sports guy, myself.)

Calfgrit5’s team, the Fusion, won their first game 12-0. Calfgrit5 said after the game that he wasn’t sure he liked playing it. He was disappointed that he didn’t score any goals for his team. I tried to explain the concept of team work, and how those who did score goals can’t do it all by themselves.

The Fusion won their second game 13-1, and Calfgrit5 personally kicked in one of those goals. After that game, he said he was liking soccer, and was excited to play again. Funny how scoring one simple goal, out of a dozen, can change a kid’s attitude.

During the second game, I talked with some of the other parents of our team about how our boys and girls were dominating. I mean, all the kids on both teams looked around the same age and size, and the boy-girl ratio was about even, (if gender matters for a team at that age).

I wondered if our team was really all that great, or were the other two teams really all that bad. During the first game, I hadn’t really noticed, (because I wasn’t looking for anything), but during the second game I saw how we had four really strong players, (3 boys, 1 girl) on our team. The other parents mentioned how those four players had been playing for two previous seasons.

The four ringers weren’t super stars or anything obviously over-the-top, but over the length of the whole game, you could see they knew what they were doing, and they knew how to do what they needed to do. The other kids, on any of the teams were not bad, but they were inexperienced compared to our four best players.

Then our most recent game, this past Saturday, the Fusion won by just 6-2. The other team gave them a real fight for that game. One of our parents expressed concern over how our kids will handle a defeat. “When it happens, it’ll be a tough surprise for them after winning so handily these times.”

Yeah, it’ll probably be a shock. Surely there’s a team in this league that’s as good as ours, (with our four experienced players). When will the Fusion go up against them? How will our kids take a loss after winning so much?

Bullgrit

I’m not really on a “diet,” in the old sense — I don’t go hungry — but I am attentive to what I eat nowadays. I always have “good” meals and snacks near at hand, and I eat something every couple of hours. My metabolism is in high gear with all this exercising I’m doing. I’m constantly fueling my system.

My desk drawer and one corner of a shelf in the break room fridge is full of fruits, pretzels, protein bars, and non-fat yogurt. Whenever I have even a tinge of hunger, I can grab any of this stuff and I’m never tempted to visit the candy machine or run over to a fast food restaurant.

I’ve also checked various local restaurant menus online for their nutritional information, so when I do occasionally go out to eat lunch, I know how what the least bad stuff is on the menues. If I’m ever caught hungry while away from home or work, I have a good idea of where and what I can eat out.

I even keep a journal of what I eat and the calories, fat, carbs, and protein I take in with each meal and snack. I don’t have to do this, but it does help me keep tabs on my intake. It’s just a little confirmation each day that I’ve done well.

Yesterday I got hungry after leaving work, (late), and before getting home. I didn’t have a snack with me, so I started looking and thinking around for some place I could get something “not bad.” There’s a Bruegger’s bagel/deli shop nearby, and I knew from their online nutritional info that I could get something “not bad” there.

A Bruegger’s turkey bagel sandwich, (with honey mustard and lettuce), has:

• 440 calories
• 8g fat
• 64g carbs
• 26g protein

Not bad. I try to keep my daily numbers at around 2000 calories and 40 grams of fat. I’ve actually managed to keep my daily fat grams below 30 for a few weeks. That ain’t easy, so I’m fairly proud of this.

Anyway, yesterday: I was standing in the Bruegger’s order line, waiting my turn, and looking at the menu board. I saw the turkey chipotle club sandwich — turkey, bacon, lettuce, chipotle mayonaise. Bacon? My mind put that in the “protein” category. Unfortunately, because I was originally thinking of honey mustard on my sandwich, the “mayonaise” in the list of ingredients didn’t register with me. I read it as “chipotle mustard,” I guess.

I ordered the turkey chipotle club sandwich. It’s a bit bigger than the bagel sandwich, but I was hungry and just shrugged my shoulders. I ate the sandwich in my car and my hunger and taste was satisfied.

Later, when I went to write it in my diet journal, I had to look up this new sandwich on Brueggers.com.

• 800 calories
• 51g fat
• 57g carbs
• 31g protein

Holy shit! 51 grams of fat!? The 800 calories for a turkey sandwich is itself enough of a shock, but the 51 grams of fat is freakin’ astonishing. Fifty-one grams of fat!

It breaks my heart. It really does. I’ve been so good for so long, and been proud of myself for managing my diet so well, and then I do this. I stared at the nutritional info for a minute, just thinking, It was a turkey sandwich. It was just a turkey sandwich.

This is what happens when I go off my known menu. This is what happens when I let myself get hungry: I get mentally sloppy with what I choose to eat.

51 grams of fat in one freakin’ sandwich. A turkey sandwich. Hell, I could have just eaten a big burger or a slice of meat-lover’s pizza. What the hell kind of concentrated fat crap is in that chipotle mayonaise? It was good, but it wasn’t super good. It wasn’t almost-two-days-worth-of-fat-intake good.

Bullgrit

I’m two weeks into my Insanity regimen, and last night’s workout had me really wondering if I can actually make it through all 9 weeks of this thing. The second month, (weeks 6 through 9), takes the whole thing up another level into the “Max” workouts. I’m still in the beginning Insanity workouts.

The freakin’ warm up exercises are hard. I’m panting and sweating after the first 20 minutes, and then, (after the stretch time), the real workout begins. So far I’ve been able to do every exercise without skipping, but I haven’t been able to completely keep up with hot shots in the video class. Sure, many of them take short breaks like me during the work outs, and they’re wiped out like me at the end of the program. But they’re all in their 20s.

I don’t have the high after the workouts like I got after the P90X workouts. I don’t feel “good” after all that work, I feel like I just had my ass kicked.

And I’m not seeing any change in my body yet. Granted, I’m just two weeks done, and I was already leaned down from the P90X work, but something has to start showing soon. It’s hard to keep up this pounding without something visual to show for it.

Insanity is hard. Really hard. I mean, “Oh my God!”, hard. P90X was hard, especially in the beginning weeks. But I never doubted my ability to keep it up. Now, though, I’ve had my first doubts about my ability to keep at it.

With P90X, you can see the level of the regimen in the first couple weeks. If you can get through the first couple weeks, you know you can perform everything through out all 13 weeks. You just have to keep pressing play, every day.

But Insanity cranks it up a level in the sixth week. If you’re struggling in the first four weeks, what’s going to happen in the last four? I haven’t looked at the videos for the second month, yet. I’m kind of scared to. At this point, when I’m struggling through the beginning workouts, should I take a peek at the next level? I don’t know. I don’t want to break my will by seeing something that might overwhelm me. I don’t want to kill my spirit so soon.

I’m going to continue, for now. I’m not going to quit during the beginning stage. Although they totally kick my ass and leave me a worn out puddle of sweat and fatigue, I at least know I can get through these first month routines. But dear God, what will the next phase be like?

Bullgrit