Imposter

I went to a local mall after work to buy some gifts to take home from Sweden. I was curious how a Swedish mall looks compared to the US, and it turns out, they look pretty much exactly alike.

Most of the store names are unknown to me, but the look, the ambiance, the people inside are pretty much exactly like I’m used to in America. I walked around the corridors by myself just looking at everything, and aside from hearing the different language, I couldn’t tell I wasn’t at home.

I stopped in a candy store thinking I’d bring home some Swedish candy. About half the candy was the same as I’d find in the US, and the other half I couldn’t tell what it was. I picked up some gummi-type candy shaped like cars, for the boys, and took it to the counter.

“Hej,” said the clerk. [Hej = “Hey” = Hello.]

“Hej,” I said.

The clerk rang up the package of candy (20.00kr), and I paid with a 100kr bill. He gave me change and said, “Tack.” [Tack = Thank you.]

I said, “Tack. Hej då,” and walked out with the candy. [Hej då = Goodbye.]

Cool, I thought, I did that just fine. I had used about a third or half of the Swedish words I know in that short exchange, but I did fine for a first try.

The next store was a card shop. I looked around and found some greeting cards that looked cute and funny. (I don’t have a clue what they say, but they look nice.)

I took my picks up to the counter where a man and young girl stood ready to help me.

“Hej, hej,” the man said. He was very chipper, (he had already spoken to me while I was looking around), and smiling. The girl looked happy too, but she also had a look of being out of her element.

“Hej,” I said, and smiled, as I set the cards down.

The man helped the girl ring up the cards — although I couldn’t understand what they were saying back and forth, it was obvious he was training her on the register. They told me the price of my purchase, and I pulled out my plastic.

I swiped my card and prepared to enter my PIN. In the couple of previous times I’ve used my card, the display on the pad had the letters “PIN” among all the gibberish, so I knew to punch in my number. But this time there was no “PIN” anywhere on the display. The bottom line of the gibberish said, “Jibbä = Jåbba,” or something to that effect so far as I could tell.

Was something wrong? Was there an error? Did I need to swipe my card again? The smiling faces of the man and girl looked at me expectantly. Crap, I thought, I’m busted.

“Um,” I stammered, “I’m sorry, but I can’t read this.”

There was just a moment of a pause, then the man said, “Oh, just put in your PIN.”

“OK,” I said. “I was hoping to get through the purchase without revealing I wasn’t Swedish.”

They both laughed, and the man said, “You can’t get by us.” We all got a good, friendly chuckle at the situation. Then I waved, said, “Tack så mycket,” and left with my purchase. [Tack så mycket = Thank you very much.]

Thank goodness the Swedish not only know English so well, but they are so friendly and willing to speak in English for those of us who need them to. God bless ’em.

Bullgrit
bullgrit@totalbullgrit.com