Viewed: television

For some strange reason, I had an interest in watching this old Disney movie. I remember seeing and loving it as a kid, and I was just in the mood to revisit it. It’s a cute movie, but several things about it make me wonder how I could have understood it as a child.

To start with, the British accents are very thick. Even now, as an adult, I found it difficult to understand some things the kids said. And to make it worse, some of the things they said are very British, making context difficult. I would imagine that half of what the kids in the movie say are completely unintelligible to the average American child.

But then, what the heck do kids care about what’s being said when there’s totally cool stuff like flying beds, turning people into rabbits, cartoon talking animals, and walking and fighting museum exhibits? The special effects are great: the integration of live action and animation is very well done, and the live action animation of the museum armor and uniforms is downright spooky.

Overall, it’s an amazing fantasy romp with a climax pitting good magic against bad Nazis. Maybe kids don’t need to understand the grand backdrop of World War II, or what in the world the Cockney kids are saying to enjoy this adventure. I didn’t as a kid, and I didn’t as an adult.

Bullgrit
bullgrit@totalbullgrit.com

Viewed: Theater

Contrary to what you might think from the trailer, this is not a superhero movie. At least not in the same way as the likes of Superman, whom Hancock, in the trailer, resembles (in abilities).

Contrary to what some people are saying, this is a superhero movie. At least in the same way as the likes of Hulk, whom Hancock, in the trailer, resembles (in results).

Overall, I liked the movie. But there were some parts that I didn’t like at first, when they happened, but came to accept as OK when they were later explained. I’m finding it kind of hard to say anything about this thing without giving away spoilers. Many of the things I want to comment on come in the second half of the movie after the plot twist.

Before the twist, when Hancock and Ray (the PR guy) start dealing with each other, especially when Ray’s wife and kid are in the scenes, I really felt uncomfortable for all the characters. Hancock is an asshole (get used to that word if you plan to see the movie). Ray is optimistic. Aaron is awestruck by Hancock. And Mary, Ray’s wife is noticeably unhappy. The stress level caused by these various attitudes is palpable.

I’ve got one real complaint about this movie, and it’s a cliché that far too many Hollywood movies use. As it is a major spoiler, I’ll black it out for those of you who don’t want to see it until after the movie:

I hate it when the hero or villain dies, pause, pause, pause, and then comes back to life. Stop that, Hollywood! It’s not original, it’s not clever, it’s not suspenseful. If you wait long enough after the death, it’s just an annoying trick.

There’s an extra scene about a minute after the credits start to roll, but there’s nothing at the end of the credits.

Bullgrit
bullgrit@totalbullgrit.com

Viewed: Theater

I’ve never read any of the Hellboy comics, but I enjoyed the first Hellboy movie, so I expected to enjoy this sequel. Sadly, no. It wasn’t really bad; it was just failed to succeed for me. There were a lot of little problems with it. Things like:

Liz’s fire apparently isn’t hot — she doesn’t burn anything around her when she’s lit up, including people, like when she pats Abe’s shoulder while in full flame. (I’m willingly giving her clothes a pass on this complaint.)

Red’s powerful handgun has no penetration — he shoots down a tiny, bug-sized fairy right in front of a crowd of civilians, but the slug doesn’t go through and hit the civs.

Red clobbers a harmless little-old troll lady, knocking her 50 feet into a wall. That doesn’t endear me to him.

Red takes a dozen punches to the face from an ogre’s iron gauntlet, but a thrown beer can cuts his face.

The badass elf prince physically attacks and kills anyone who gets in his way, except Red and friends. Then he uses a convoluted surrogate.

Near the end, when the group is attacked by the Golden Army, no mechanical soldier bothers Liz or Abe, who are standing right there in the middle of them.

All the turning gears in the Golden Army “throne room” don’t actually connect with each other. They’re apparently just for show.

The above are just a few of the problems that I noticed; just the ones that came to mind immediately as I wrote this. There are many more. And they all add up to prevent my suspension of disbelief.

And the end of the movie, after the climax, just makes no sense. The team members each make a decision (the same decision) that really follows no logic. This last part left me thinking, “Huh? Why?” I could see the rash Hellboy making that decision, but the others apparently completely loose their intelligence and follow along.

Visually, the locations and scenes are pretty cool and fun. The basic story and plot is interesting. But the way it plays out, and many minor problems all make me not love this movie. I don’t hate it, but I don’t really like it. I don’t expect a fantasy movie like this to be realistic, but it should be believable. This one is unbelievable in logic and physics.

There is nothing to see after the credits.

Bullgrit
bullgrit@totalbullgrit.com

Not Viewed: DVD

I’ve been told by friends that this movie is really good. I’ve read comments on message boards that this movie is really good. I would love to see this movie. It’s a World War II tale about a German U-boat (“das boot” = “the boat,” in German). I’ve rented this movie twice from Blockbuster in the past couple of months, but had to return it, late, both times without having watched it.

As part of some kind of promotion that I signed up for a couple of years ago, I get monthly free rentals (non-new releases) from Blockbuster. I usually use these coupons to rent old movies I’ve already seen, years ago, but for two months now, I’ve used a coupon for this movie I haven’t seen.

Several weeks ago, Blockbuster in our area (their “test market”) went back to late fees. They reduced the cost of renting movies to around three bucks, and made all rentals for three days. I have come to absolutely hate this. Both times I rented Das Boot, I ended up getting tied up in stuff and couldn’t find the time to watch it in the three day period allowed. So I had to return the movie, a day late, unwatched.

Fortunately, because I used my coupon both times, renting it cost me nothing either time. But ironically, returning them a day late has cost me sixty-six cents both times. I won’t rent from a Blockbuster store again (even for free) if they keep the 3-day limit. I need a week to manage the time to watch a movie — especially this movie, that runs three and a half hours.

Bullgrit
bullgrit@totalbullgrit.com