Say you just arrived home from a three-week trip abroad. You find your front door stuck, so you have to enter your house through the back door. But to get your luggage inside, you have to shoulder open the front door. This all takes a few minutes, but you finally get all inside. Phew. It’s good to be home.

Then a couple minutes after, you find the police knocking on your door.

How would you handle this scenario?

I like to think I’m a reasonable citizen, appreciative of what the police do for the community. When a police officer says he’s responding to a report of a suspected burglary, and asks for identification, I think my response would be, “Oh, sure, let me get my wallet.” I’d probably even add, “Come on in, take a look around if you want to.”

I hope I’d appreciate the attentiveness and care of a neighbor keeping an eye out for my home (especially when I’m away for weeks), and the responsiveness and responsibility of the police for investigating a report of suspicious activity at my home. I mean, the alternative is having neighbors not care or the police not look into someone actually burglarizing my home.

I’d explain why I had to enter my home by the back door, and I’d explain why I had to shoulder my way into the front door (maybe even giving them a demonstration of the stuck portal). I might even laugh at how it probably did, indeed, look suspicious to someone outside. In my mind, this whole situation is a very good thing – neighbors and police are looking out for a citizen and his home.

But then, the above is how a reasonable and understanding citizen might handle the scenario.

Here’s how a jackass with a chip on his shoulder would handle the situation: ABC News

Bullgrit

Calfgrit4 got it by a basketball thrown 30 feet by a teenager. He laughed it off and went on playing.

The boys had a friend over for a couple hours this weekend. They ran and screamed through the house, but when I herded them out to the backyard, they sat around “bored.”

We’ve been contacting local moving companies to compare prices and quality for our pending move out of our current house.

Cowgrit has been working with a interior designer to pick out flooring, cabinets, paint, and such for our new house. There are three meetings in total to finalize all the decisions. This is far, far more complicated than either of us expected it to be.

The boys planned and set up a surprise birthday greeting and “party” for when I got home from work Friday evening. They hung up banners and streamers, and then they and Cowgrit hid behind furniture until I came in and looked around. “Surprise!” they all shouted and threw confetti up into the air. We had dinner and cake.

Holy crap! I’m forty-freakin’-two years old, now! How the hell did this happen?

My gamer group has started a new game campaign: Battletech, in the 3025-3050 era. We’re playing a medium mech lance of mercenaries. It’s a fun game, but good lord it’s taking forever to play out the battles.

I got to watch part of a Scrubs marathon this weekend. I saw three episodes back to back while Calfgrit4 napped Sunday afternoon, and I laughed my ass off. God, I love that show.

And some other stuff happened.

I decided that I really miss writing my blog. It’s often a lot of fun.

I found out that sometimes I really like not writing my blog. Skipping the stress of posting every day is a relief.

Bullgrit

I’ve been writing this site for just over two years, now. In those 750+ days, I’ve made 968 posts, (not counting Twitter notes). That’s about 1.3 posts per day.

The writing has been fun for the most part; I thoroughly enjoy the craft. But keeping up the daily schedule has started wearing on me. It’s actually become a burden.

Sometimes I have something to say, and I want to write it. But sometimes I don’t really have anything on my mind to say, and so I spend a good deal of time trying to come up with something. I’ve sometimes even had stress over coming up with something. I shouldn’t feel stress over something I’m supposed to be doing purely for the fun of it.

And then there are times when I have an idea to write about, but the subject isn’t something that matches the general-public audience I think I’ve built up here. For instance, sometimes I have a thought on my games, or I have a political opinion, or I just want to explore writing a fictional situation. Usually I just squelch or ignore such writing urges because I feel they don’t fit with the site as it’s grown to be. I don’t have time to keep up the regular writing schedule for this site and also write other stuff on the side. (This site is already my “on the side” activity.)

I’ve taken to writing for my audience rather than writing for myself. Writing what I think will entertain my audience, rather than writing something that entertains me (and maybe no one else). Writing to one’s audience is a standard part of a normal writer’s job — but this site really isn’t my job. It’s a hobby.

This web site was originally a place for me to just get my creativity out and get my writing jones satisfied. But lately, it’s become too much like work, like a job, a grind.

Then last week, I mentioned my frustration to Cowgrit. She hugged me and told me she was sorry to hear it. So, the next night when I didn’t have anything particular to write about, I just decided to not worry about it. I just dropped it, and went and did something else. And that night was good.

Then I continued for a few nights just not worrying about trying to come up with something to write. This was a surprisingly large relief. It was like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders.

So, though I’m writing this post, consider me still on hiatus. I’m going to take another week for a break. But when I come back to writing for this site, I don’t think I’m going to bother with trying to maintain a regular (especially daily) schedule. I’ll post when I feel like it, when I actually have something I want to write. It may be an anecdote from my life (now or my younger days), it may be a geek-out that many of you won’t understand because you aren’t into the same geeky stuff I am, or it may even be something completely fictional. I may post a few times a week, once a week, once a month, I don’t know.

Thanks for reading Total Bullgrit through the past couple of years. It’s really cool to have an audience.

Bullgrit

Well, we’ve signed the contract to start building our next home. So the wait, wait, wait for the city permit bureaucracy begins. We’re told we’ll be able to move into the house in about 6 months, but the actual construction time is usually only about 11 weeks. (That’s less than 3 months.)

We’ve driven through the neighborhood and looked at the empty lot at least half a dozen times before making the decision to build there. And since signing the contract, late last week, we’ve driven by another couple of times. It’s gonna be hard not seeing something happening on that lot for maybe a month.

And, since we’re scheduled to close on our current home come August 20, we’ll be homeless for a few months. Actually, we’ll be shacking up with Cowgrit’s mother for the months between 8/20 and November or December. I don’t know if this arrangement will be better than just renting an apartment, but we’re going to give it a try.

Bullgrit