There’s a lot of nastiness about potty training, but even once the child has the procedure understood, there’s a lot of icky stuff about using the toilet. Especially using public toilets.

Calfgrit3 has been reliably using the toilet for several months now, and we’re confident enough that he only wears a diaper or pull up when sleeping. At home, he can use the bathroom on his own, though we do usually need to help him with his pants. When we’re out, though, we have to oversee the whole operation.

Public restrooms are awful. It’s a terrible feeling that comes over me when we’re at some store and he says, “I have to go potty.” My skin crawls and I shiver at the thought of the nastiness that is a public restroom. Even the best restrooms are less than comfortably clean.

When we take him to a public restroom I’m constantly saying, “Please don’t touch that,” while wiping the toilet seat. I take his shoes off, so I can take his pants and underwear off completely. I don’t want his pants, around his ankles, brushing up against the underside of the disgusting toilet bowl.

Wash up afterward is of questionable thoroughness. I hold him up to the sink with one arm, which is not real comfortable for either of us, and I turn on the water, get the soap, and make sure he gets his little hands under the water with the other arm. Considering the conditions of the restroom, I don’t know if washing at the sink is even effective for killing germs.

I try very hard to remember to get Calfgrit3 to use the bathroom at home before we leave for anywhere because I really, really don’t want to have to take him into a public restroom. <shiver> Plleegghh.

Bullgrit
bullgrit@totalbullgrit.com

I’ve needed some new blue jeans for about a year now, but I just haven’t had the time to go shopping for them. Two of my four pairs of jeans have shrunk enough in the length to start to be embarrassingly short. So I took an hour to go try on some jeans.

I’ve worn Levi’s jeans all my life. I don’t think I have ever worn any other brand name jeans. I’m the kind of guy who sticks with what works; Levi’s have always held up well for me, and when I need a new pair, I can just get the same type and size as my old pairs.

My old pairs were size 34, but they were too short, and getting a little too small. I blame the smallness on shrinkage of the jeans, but Cowgrit suggests it might me enlargement of the wearer. I wore size 32 waist in high school, and I was skinny then. I like to think I’ve just “grown up” a little since. Two sizes bigger is not too bad for 20 years of aging.

So I went into a few stores to look for Levi’s jeans. At first, I stood staring at the shelves of jeans for several minutes, in shock at the 439 different styles. Come on! They’re blue jeans. How many different styles do people need? But, of course, out of all the choices, I couldn’t find the style that I’ve been wearing. I ended up having to try on six or eight pairs to find the new style and size that fit comfortably.

The size I need is 35. The 34s are just a little too tight for comfort, and the 36s are just a little too loose for comfort. But to add annoyance to confusion, it turns out there is no size 35 in Levi’s jeans. The sizes go: 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 36, 38. . . . Why do they start skipping after size 34? It’s like they said, “If you’re over 30 years old, you only grow in two inch spurts.”

So I had to settle for size 36 jeans, and just wear a belt. I’m conflicted now: if I work to loose an inch off my waist, the jeans will fit worse, but if I eat more and become a couch potato, I can “grow” into them. Hmm. One way requires attention and work, the other way is easier.

I looked around for more size 36 jeans in the style I liked. I like having several jeans of the same style and color. On a day I’m going to wear jeans, I want to be able to pull out the pants and pull out a shirt without having to think about whether they match or not. I don’t usually have black jeans, or white jeans, or anything other than basic blue jeans. Blue jeans go with anything. And I can usually tell the age of my jeans by noting how light the blue is: dark blue means new, light blue means old.

But, of course, blue jeans don’t just come in a standard blue. There’s dark blue, medium blue, light blue, dirty blue, and gray blue. And unfortunately, most of the size 36 jeans were sold out. I ended up with three different colors of the style. I got medium blue, light blue, and gray blue. The dirty blue just looked, well dirty. They looked like they should smell bad, so I avoided them.

Anyway, I have three more pairs of jeans, now. I’m going to throw out my too-small pairs, and I’ll try to get over my color matching phobia. Maybe these variations of blue will still work with most any shirts.

Bullgrit
bullgrit@totalbullgrit.com

We put up the Christmas tree and decorations. We gave up on live trees a couple years ago, so putting up the tree, now, means getting the big, heavy box out of the storage barn, lugging it into the house, taking the four unwieldy sections out of the box, assembling them, spreading out the limbs that were smushed together when packed into the box, and plugging everything in. It’s really only a little easier than setting up a real tree. With the lights already woven into the limbs of the fake tree, I don’t have to string the lights myself.

I then got the boxes and boxes and boxes of Christmas decorations down out of the attic. Each box is as wide as the attic doorway, and heavy, so negotiating them all down the ladder is about as easy as throwing a cinder block into the air and catching it. About as safe, too.

In case my feelings don’t come across well in this text, I’ll state directly: I just don’t much care for doing the decorations for Christmas. I like having the decorations out for the holiday (but just for the month of December), but I don’t like the activity of putting them up. I guess the reason is that I end up being the one who does all the more nerve-wracking stuff instead of the easy, simple placements. I put up the tree, string lights outside, etc. It’s like being the one who always has to wash dishes after a big family meal.

Cowgrit loves Christmas decorations, God bless her. If not for her, our house probably wouldn’t look any different in December than it does in July. And our house in December leaves no doubt as to what the holiday is. Anyway, we got the house all jollied up and yuletide fine. Our home is holiday pretty, despite my grumbling about the process.

Afterward, we did my favorite thing: dinner. We went to On the Border for some Tex-Mex food. Yeah, if anything can completely confuse the holiday feel, it’s me and my taste buds.

Bullgrit
bullgrit@totalbullgrit.com

What would you do if you went to a Web site to read an article or a blog, and found only a blank page? What is your first assumption? Do you think something is technically wrong? Do you suspect the site’s server? Do you suspect the Internet connection? Do you suspect your own Web browser failed? Do you suspect the blank page is intentional?

I can imagine what some will do when they don’t see any text in this post. Some will just shrug and go somewhere else for entertainment. Some will tilt their heads, squint their eyes, and click the mouse buttons. Maybe they’ll click the Reload or Refresh button, repeatedly. Some will scroll up and down the page thinking maybe the text will display if they shake the page up like an Etch A Sketch. If you’re reading this, you probably performed the simplest trick of just highlighting the area in this box. If you are the type to over think a problem, you may have tried viewing the post through the HTML code.

I’m just kind of screwing around with this post. I’ve got nothing interesting to talk about right now.

Bullgrit
bullgrit@totalbullgrit.com