Meeting of the Chess Club

Several weeks ago, Calfgrit10 mentioned that his school was going to start a chess club, and he would like to join it. Very cool. We’d love for him to have some kind of club or thing to participate in. He’s not usually interested in group participation.
 
Yesterday was the first gathering for the club, and I left work early so I could be there with him at 4:00. His school lets out at 3:45, so the rush was dying down by the time I walked into the school building. I was directed to the Media Center, (what my generation called the Library), by the principal who was corralling the last of the carpool kids at the front door.
 
In the Media Center, I found Calfgrit10 already in the middle of a game with another boy his age. There were about 20 kids, altogether, and about 10 parents, (mostly moms). Talking with the adults around, it seemed that most didn’t know how to play chess, themselves. At least one mom and one dad, other than me, did know enough to coach their kids during games.
 
This whole gathering was just a free-play event. The teacher organizing the club said she knew the basics of the game, but didn’t know any real strategies. She was hoping a parent or two could help out with the actual coaching and teaching. So I stood over my son and tried my hand at coaching a little.
 
Calfgrit10 seemed to be having a lot of fun. He was talking and laughing with his opponents, generally being silly and funny. But he wasn’t trying to win a game. He’d get so wrapped up in just wanting to move one piece around the board that he’d just ignore that his opponents were capturing his other pieces left and right. When I told him to think about all the pieces he could move, he tended to just stop and wouldn’t do anything. When I advised him to think about what his opponent’s next move would be, (even after his opponent had stated what he wanted to do), he would just cross his arms and say, “I don’t know.”
 
Obviously he didn’t want me sticking my nose in his fun. He just wanted to play around without care about winning or losing. Okay. I backed off. I wasn’t trying to push him or mess up his fun.
 
But I know him. He likes to win at any game and sport he plays. In fact, he always claims he “didn’t have fun” when he loses at something. When he plays chess, or any game, with me, he’s very competitive. He seems to play to win.
 
Well, I just let him play after he shut down at my advice. He went back to talking and laughing and seeming to have fun. He lost two games and won one.
 
One our walk home from school after the meeting, he claimed to not have had fun. When I asked if he’d like to go back next week, he said, “I’d just rather go home and do my homework.” That’s weird. He hates doing homework. We have to hover around him every night to make sure he stays on his homework till he finishes.
 
So, chess club was a bust. I don’t know if his decision was because I annoyed him with coaching or because he lost 2-1 games. There’s always a fine line between helping and hindering when trying to nurture interest in something for a child. And I never know where the line is until I’ve probably crossed it. Parenting is hard.
 
Bullgrit