We went to a school event a few weeks ago, and for the first time in many, many years, I stood up and said the Pledge of Allegiance. It’s been so long since I recited the Pledge that I really don’t even remember when it would have been. I know the words by heart:

I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America, and to the Republic for which is stands, one nation, under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.

But then, I also know the McDonald’s Big Mac lyrics by heart: Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun. Anyway…

I have to say, it felt weird saying the Pledge. I didn’t know that the school kids say it every morning, and I didn’t expect it to come up in a school function in the auditorium. I’ve been to several meetings at school, for one function or another, but we’ve never had to say the Pledge. It felt weird, in a way like I was joining a cult.

I’ve never been a joiner. I’ve even turned down many offers to join online groups, guilds, clans, etc. for various games. Joining anything in any kind of official way feels weird to me.

In the school function, when the principal announced for everyone to stand and recite the Pledge, I just did it without even thinking. I put my hand over my heart and everything, I guess out of the habit I learned in childhood, in school? I don’t remember saying the Pledge in school. I don’t remember when or where I ever said it. Obviously, though, I have said it, enough times that it comes to mind automatically when I’m prompted.

But right after, I felt a pang of oddness. “I pledge allegiance….” I love America. I love being an American. If trouble ever came to America, I’d naturally, both instinctively and with consideration, side with America. But standing up and pledging allegiance feels cultish.

Maybe it’s from having read/watched too many stories in which brainwashed people pledge their lives to some symbol or person. I can’t think of any stories in which someone having to pledge their allegiance turned out as anything good.

Well, I don’t expect anyone will be coming to my house to make me join anything based on the fact that I recited the Pledge at a school function. I don’t think it automatically conscripts me into the military. I’ll just go on living my life as a loose and free American.

Bullgrit

I know I said I was going to get back to writing on this blog. I had every intention to do so when I said that, but I’ve gotten into a new computer game that has really given me a lot of enjoyment. So much enjoyment that it’s become a bit of an addiction.

Team Fortress 2. It’s a multi-player first person shooter with two teams (RED and BLU) who not only try to kill each other, but try to accomplish various goals in a match. Capture the flag, control points, move objects from one location to another, etc.

I played Team Fortress Classic a lot back some 12+ years ago. I remember the hype and anticipation for Team Fortress 2 back then, but somehow it fell off my radar for all these years. Then a guy from my work organized an online game night, and TF2 was what we played. Within a few minutes, I was hooked.

In the past several weeks, I’ve gotten pretty good at the game. Each team has up to 12 players, and I regularly end up in the top three scorers by the end of a game. (I usually play the Pyro, if you know the classes.)

I’ve even gotten Calfgrit14 and Calfgrit10 to play with me a few times. With all of us in the same room, we can communicate easily and play as a strong threesome. I like it because it’s something that my boys can see their dad really rock with. That their old man “pwns,” (I hate that word), in this online world actually impresses them. And I’ll take every opportunity to shine in my son’s eyes.

But I’ve got to cut back on my play time a bit. At least enough so I can write some more. I have to reign in my ego boosting some so I can get some actual work done.

Bullgrit

My life has gotten so busy in the past several months. I mean, just crazy. I often go two or three days where I don’t even get to sit at my computer at all, much less get the time to write a blog post. There’s no one thing that has changed to make our life so busy, it’s just all of everything. For instance, I’m squeezing time in right now between reloading the laundry machines and putting Calfgrit10 to bed and hustling Calfgrit14 into the shower. I’m skipping my usual workout tonight because I’m just exhausted from the weekend. Weekends are supposed to be a time to rest and recuperate from the work week! But mine seem to be when I have to try to catch up with everything that I couldn’t get to during the work week.

Every evening when I get home from work, there’s dinner to make, homework* to help with, cleaning or neatening to be done, a new dog** to train and walk, errands to be run, and a dozen little issues*** to deal with. It takes both me and Wifegrit both to keep this house and family running.

Every day I think of something I want to blog about, because I enjoy writing, and I enjoy relating my life experiences from being a dad, a geek, and a Southern good ol’ boy. But before I know it, a week has passed and I didn’t get a chance to sit down and write anything. So many interesting things to tell, so little time to tell it. And it bothers me to let this blog sit idle and stagnate for a week or two at a time.

Where this blog used to be a creative outlet, a pleasurable pastime, it’s now become a stress because I feel I’m failing to accomplish something. Every day that passes without me writing another post irks me. Really, it deep down bothers me.

So I’m going to just stop for a while. For how long a while, I don’t know. But I have too many plates spinning in the air right now, and I have to give up on at least one. This web site is more a luxury, or a hobby, than a needed thing.

Right now, as I’m writing this, I find myself wanting so much to go into detail on even just one or two things, but not having the time to do that is the whole reason I’m writing even this much.

There is no emergency or tragedy in our lives right now that is taking my time. It’s just normal life. Just normal, chaotic, crazy, whirlwind life. I’d say I need a vacation, but that would just put me behind catching up on what needs to be done.

* Homework: I have to relearn math that I haven’t work with in 20+ years. Then I have to teach the math to CG14, (because he doesn’t learn it while actually in class for some reason), and then I have to check his homework to see that he’s done it correctly.

** Dog: Yep, we have a new dog. A wonderful, happy, fun dog that we all love very much. But she needs training and exercise regularly.

*** Little issues: A drawer isn’t closing properly, the wi-fi is down, a toilet is clogged, a phone charger is missing, the washer is making a banging noise, etc., etc., etc.****

**** For example: My FTP software is not working, so I can’t upload images for this site right now. This has been a problem for weeks, but I can’t sit for more than a few minutes at a time to figure out the problem and resolve it.

Bullgrit

P.S. If you want to read something, check out my Best of the Blog posts:

• The Dad Stereotype
• Defending the Southern Accent
• Teaching My Son to Shoot
• Dirty Joking With My Mom
• Comic Book Shop
• Playing Hide and Seek
• The Real, Modern South

Like most kids, our boys write a Christmas wish list every year. We’ve saved a few of the lists, and I’m looking back over them tonight.

“Dear Santa

I hope I have been good and deserve these toys.”

***

“Dear Santa,

I have been a good boy this year.”

***

“Dear Santa,

This year I would like:”

The lists of wishes look very similar through the years, even between the two boys: Pokemon, Lego/Mega Bloks, Star Wars, Nintendo Wii games, etc. The earliest list we still have is from our oldest back when he couldn’t write more than his name. The intro and list is in my handwriting, with his name signed in his handwriting. This is the only list with just general wish ideas:

• A kangaroo toy
• A Spider-Man toy
• A Fantastic Four toy
• A toy raccoon
• A NASCAR toy – race car

After that first list, the wishes become very specific, (below exactly as they wrote with their own hand :-)

• Death wings Storm Wind assult (mega bloks World Of warcraft)
• Skylanders giants character pack. Character Bouncer
• Halo coventant platform V.S. UNSC Hornent
• Red DS with Lego Harry Potter game

And now, with our oldest son being 13 this year, (turning 14 next month), we’ve noticed a big difference in his list. The items have gone back to being a bit general, but much . . . different:

• Money
• iPhone 6/5
• TV
• Hard drive for Xbox
• Cool games
  • Destiny

My favorite of that list is the first one: money. Right to the point. And it might be cheaper for us to just deliver two or three or four hundred bucks in cash than to gift the other items on the list, (other than the one game).

Calfgrit13 has known the secret of Santa Claus for a couple years, now. I explained it when he expressed strong suspicions, I think based on hearing his friends talk about the subject. Now Calfgrit10 is starting to express suspicions, but we’ve managed to hold onto the secret for at least this one more year. Big brother understands, and next year little brother will have to learn: Santa only comes to kids who still believe. This is why CG13 has helped us maintain the magic for CG10.

Wifegrit will be heartbroken when there’s no one left in the family with a true belief in Santa.

Bullgrit