Daddy is Stressed and Malnourished

I took an online health assessment through my insurance company this weekend. The assessment asks about 20 multiple-choice questions and then returns a breakdown of my health rating in eight areas. Here is my assessment:

I despise such ridiculous judgements based on so limited information. I mean, how can 20 questions really produce a reliable ranking for eight areas of health?

Nutrition 25 — this is apparently based solely on the my answer to the question of, “How many fruits and vegetables do you eat each day?” Sure, I need to eat more fruits and veggies, I admit. But the assessment didn’t ask, and therefore can’t account for my detailed tracking of the protein, carbs, fats, and calories I eat each day. I mean, come on, how can I have my overall high-level of health and fitness if my nutrition is really a 25/100?

Stress 39 — I don’t think of myself as overly stressed. Stressed some, absolutely, and that’s how I answered the questions about my stress levels. But 39/100? Does that imply I need to see a therapist?

Job Satisfaction 71 — Okay, I guess. There were a couple of questions on my job, and this is probably close to what I would rank my job satisfaction at.

Medical Health 86 — based on what? There were a few questions about blood pressure, cholesterol levels, and such, but I had to pass on answer all of those other than blood pressure. I know my blood pressure is right around 120/80, but the rest I don’t know exact numbers. So how, exactly, can the assessment rank my medical health without any actual data?

Sleep 88 — I answered the one sleep question with the estimate that I get around 7-8 hours of sleep each night.

Activity 92 — What the hell? Regular readers here probably know my activity level: extreme-level workouts 3-6 nights a week. I guess only professional athletes could reach 100/100 in this area.

Lifestyle 100 — I don’t drink, smoke, do drugs, or muss my hair up with stupid hair products, so I guess that how I rate a 100 on this.

Weight 100 — I figure this result comes from simply calculating my height and weight together. Interesting to see I’m apparently dead-on with that equation.

Overall Score 58 — Huh? The average of the eight numbers comes out to 75 on my calculator. How does the assessment come up with 58? Yeah, I’m a bit annoyed by that result. Maybe they figured I’d be irritated and so lowered my overall score to reflect this.

I wonder what the American average overall score is. I mean, if I — a generally very happy and very healthy man — gets only 58, what does the fat guy next to me complaining about his stupid boss while eating a donut get assessed at?

This is baloney.

Oops, I think my overall score just dropped a point.

Bullgrit